Take better care of yourself

How to take better care of yourself

You want to take better care of yourself. Take good care of yourself. Maybe even take exquisite care of yourself. But no matter how much you want to, you just can't seem to make it happen, or make it stick. Relatable anyone? 🙋🏻‍♀️

Let's start right away with the most important reminder for you right now:

No matter what you’re doing (or not doing, or trying to do) to take care of yourself, your intention is to make yourself feel as good as possible, in this particular situation, with the tools that are currently available to you.

Self-care is probably not what you think it is

All your inner parts have your best interest at heart and try to contribute to your well-being in their own unique way.

The pusher wants to arrange for you to be recognized, the perfectionist wants to keep you safe by preventing failure, the critic has come up with a 100,000 rules that should help you get the love and appreciation you deserve, and so on.

No matter how unproductive their methods are, in essence all your inner parts care for you. So, those unhelpful thoughts and actions simply exist because you want to give yourself the best possible life.

This is important to realize, because as long as you are condemning yourself to infinity (and beyond) for everything you do and don’t do self-care-wise, you’ll have no space or energy to actually get better at it.

A personal example

I can’t tell you how many times I, as someone who has always struggled with disordered eating and my weight, have received comments like: ''Being truly kind to yourself is NOT eating that cookie.''

And of course I'm not going to claim that a healthy lifestyle - and the choices that support it - would not be good self-care, for sure, but I do want to ask you this: Does it help you, after doing something that’s not aligned with your bigger plans and desires, to criticize and judge and disapprove of yourself? I don’t think so. This will only increase the chance that you’ll grab another cookie, and a little while later, lo and behold, the whole box is empty.

Taking better care of yourself is more accessible than you might have thought

At such a time it's helpful to (try to) remind yourself that you had the best intentions with this cookie. You wanted to make yourself to feel a bit better (or less bad) and you knew the cookie would accomplish this (for a moment). Of course, now you wish you had restrained yourself, but apparently the situation was too challenging and/or you simply haven't yet collected enough alternative ways to give yourself what the cookie gave you in that moment.

Everything you do originates from a place of self-care. You are not undisciplined or bad at life, these are just the ways in which you currently know how to make yourself feel a little better / less bad (in the short term).

Even the most destructive behaviors are fueled by an unmet need for which you, in the moment, cannot find a better solution. That doesn't make it bad. And it definitely doesn't make YOU bad. Just a human being. Caring for yourself in the best way you know how.

Focus on the intention, not the execution, and it will give you access to the love and care that’s already present within you. 💛