{"id":1437,"date":"2023-04-23T09:58:48","date_gmt":"2023-04-23T08:58:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.howtolife.nl\/?p=1437"},"modified":"2026-03-13T14:21:20","modified_gmt":"2026-03-13T13:21:20","slug":"relatie-verbreken-doet-pijn","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/relatie-verbreken-doet-pijn\/","title":{"rendered":"Ending a relationship hurts \u2013 here's why"},"content":{"rendered":"<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-1wodqct-c212c01c7f3bd2818d60344142717a66\">\n.avia-section.av-1wodqct-c212c01c7f3bd2818d60344142717a66{\nmargin-top:-35px;\nmargin-bottom:0px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div id='av_section_1'  class='avia-section av-1wodqct-c212c01c7f3bd2818d60344142717a66 main_color avia-section-default avia-no-border-styling  avia-builder-el-0  el_before_av_section  avia-builder-el-first  avia-bg-style-scroll container_wrap fullsize'  ><div class='container av-section-cont-open' ><main  role=\"main\" itemprop=\"mainContentOfPage\"  class='template-page content  av-content-full alpha units'><div class='post-entry post-entry-type-page post-entry-1437'><div class='entry-content-wrapper clearfix'>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-1ve9hu5-e8f3088897d0c4a8a7f447620a265119\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-1ve9hu5-e8f3088897d0c4a8a7f447620a265119{\nheight:35px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-1ve9hu5-e8f3088897d0c4a8a7f447620a265119 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-1  el_before_av_image  avia-builder-el-first  av-small-hide av-mini-hide'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-lah1t4cm-8f7c3f7496169e7ee2204a367795b1b8\">\n.avia-image-container.av-lah1t4cm-8f7c3f7496169e7ee2204a367795b1b8 img.avia_image{\nbox-shadow:none;\n}\n.avia-image-container.av-lah1t4cm-8f7c3f7496169e7ee2204a367795b1b8 .av-image-caption-overlay-center{\ncolor:#ffffff;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='avia-image-container av-lah1t4cm-8f7c3f7496169e7ee2204a367795b1b8 av-styling- avia-align-center  avia-builder-el-2  el_after_av_hr  el_before_av_hr'   itemprop=\"image\" itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/ImageObject\" ><div class=\"avia-image-container-inner\"><div class=\"avia-image-overlay-wrap\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class='wp-image-7143 avia-img-lazy-loading-not-7143 avia_image' src=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Relatie-verbreken-doet-pijn.jpg\" alt='Relatie verbreken doet pijn' title='Ending a relationship hurts' height=\"427\" width=\"640\"  itemprop=\"thumbnailUrl\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Relatie-verbreken-doet-pijn.jpg 640w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Relatie-verbreken-doet-pijn-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Relatie-verbreken-doet-pijn-18x12.jpg 18w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Relatie-verbreken-doet-pijn-450x300.jpg 450w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Relatie-verbreken-doet-pijn-600x400.jpg 600w\"  sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-1sxec31-7bd41d8481e87f85dacf1c7e16c3135c\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-1sxec31-7bd41d8481e87f85dacf1c7e16c3135c{\nmargin-top:-25px;\nheight:1px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-1sxec31-7bd41d8481e87f85dacf1c7e16c3135c hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-3  el_after_av_image  el_before_av_heading  av-desktop-hide av-medium-hide'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-lah1posv-fa6e7aa67dcb019a9999b33bffbfb84e\">\n#top .av-special-heading.av-lah1posv-fa6e7aa67dcb019a9999b33bffbfb84e{\npadding-bottom:10px;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-lah1posv-fa6e7aa67dcb019a9999b33bffbfb84e .av-special-heading-tag .heading-char{\nfont-size:25px;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-lah1posv-fa6e7aa67dcb019a9999b33bffbfb84e .av-subheading{\nfont-size:15px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='av-special-heading av-lah1posv-fa6e7aa67dcb019a9999b33bffbfb84e av-special-heading-h1 blockquote modern-quote modern-centered  avia-builder-el-4  el_after_av_hr  el_before_av_textblock  av-linked-heading'><h1 class='av-special-heading-tag'  itemprop=\"headline\"  >Ending a relationship hurts \u2013 here's why<\/h1><div class=\"special-heading-border\"><div class=\"special-heading-inner-border\"><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-lah1r6ws-8a055ffafbb09525d3bcca469d750510\">\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 990px){ \n#top .av_textblock_section.av-lah1r6ws-8a055ffafbb09525d3bcca469d750510 .avia_textblock{\nfont-size:16px;\n}\n}\n<\/style>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-lah1r6ws-8a055ffafbb09525d3bcca469d750510'   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>The vast majority of song lyrics out there are about heartbreak - especially about situations in which the breakup was not your choice. But <strong>what almost no one talks about is that ending a relationship hurts just as much. <\/strong>Whether it's your romantic partner, a family member or a friend, your heart is broken, too, just (partially) in a different way.<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>After the breakup of a relationship, it is important to mourn that which is no longer there, that which hasn't been there for a long time (and perhaps never was), and that which will never be again. Let's first take look at these <strong>3 types of loss:<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<h2><strong>Type #1: What's no longer there<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>You\u2019ve ended the relationship and now there is an empty space in your life. Whatever your reason for ending it may have been and however unpleasant the relationship may have become before you decided to end it, <strong>that empty space is still a new absence<\/strong>. It\u2019s the loss of all that the (physical) presence of that person still offered you.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Type #2: What was already (long) gone<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>The relationship was no longer working for you, in one way or another. Which means that you have been walking around with a feeling of loss for quite some time now, only you weren't (that) aware of it. You had already been missing that partner or mother or friend for a long time before you ended it, that's why you split up. <strong>So, in addition to the pain of the new empty space, there is also a greater loss - a loss that was already there (unconsciously) and is only now getting to be experienced.<\/strong> The loss of the person who hasn't been there for ages - and perhaps never really was.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Type #3: What will never be again<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>Until the moment you actually part ways, there\u2019s always this timeline in the back of your mind, an image, a dream, a version of you in the future with that person. And that's gone now, too. Until that very last second, somewhere really deep down, you had hope. You could still delude yourself into thinking that maybe that person would one day have some moment of deep realization or that perhaps you would, somehow, someway, be able to find a way to work things out together. <strong>That hope is now completely gone. That too, is a loss all on its own.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div><\/section>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-lah226w9-7e483669ffa12aca7587ae67b89db285\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-lah226w9-7e483669ffa12aca7587ae67b89db285{\nheight:15px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-lah226w9-7e483669ffa12aca7587ae67b89db285 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-6  el_after_av_textblock  el_before_av_textblock'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-lah21ug0-0cebe9a505c659ebd24457a75d484ff1'   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock'  itemprop=\"text\" ><blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>\u201cRight now, you are existing in the space between what could have been and what is. All you can do here is mourn.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div><\/section>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-1r8v70d-811212d1ad2675e23c637665edb71ee2\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-1r8v70d-811212d1ad2675e23c637665edb71ee2{\nheight:15px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-1r8v70d-811212d1ad2675e23c637665edb71ee2 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-8  el_after_av_textblock  el_before_av_one_full'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-1qmisod-6d139a52203a9f85c714739668ca4d0b\">\n#top .flex_column.av-1qmisod-6d139a52203a9f85c714739668ca4d0b{\nmargin-top:0px;\nmargin-bottom:0px;\n}\n.responsive #top #wrap_all .flex_column.av-1qmisod-6d139a52203a9f85c714739668ca4d0b{\nmargin-top:0px;\nmargin-bottom:0px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='flex_column av-1qmisod-6d139a52203a9f85c714739668ca4d0b av_one_full  avia-builder-el-9  el_after_av_hr  el_before_av_one_full  first av-break-at-tablet flex_column_div'     ><p>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-60fqnh-245d7e6cc480c25b379b176d117b2a19\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-60fqnh-245d7e6cc480c25b379b176d117b2a19{\nheight:25px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-60fqnh-245d7e6cc480c25b379b176d117b2a19 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-10  el_before_av_textblock  avia-builder-el-first'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div><br \/>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-lah1rpry-af81fb2a93815e3861e7bde66a517dfd\">\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 990px){ \n#top .av_textblock_section.av-lah1rpry-af81fb2a93815e3861e7bde66a517dfd .avia_textblock{\nfont-size:16px;\n}\n}\n<\/style>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-lah1rpry-af81fb2a93815e3861e7bde66a517dfd'   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock'  itemprop=\"text\" ><h2><strong>Your invitation and challenge for now<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>So, your invitation right now is to be present with all three types of loss. If you completely surrender to this grief for a while, a space will naturally be created, in which you'll be able to be with and celebrate everything that is better now, because you made it happen.<\/p>\n<p>Whether you are rolling on the floor crying, taking your anger out on some plates, or experiencing a certain confusion and numbness - or all of the above - <strong>this pain is part of you right now<\/strong>. And the only thing that matters is that you deal with it in a way that feels safest and most authentic to you today.<\/p>\n<h2><strong>Grieving = honoring<\/strong><\/h2>\n<p>The hardest part is over; now give yourself some time and space to grieve. <strong>You don't have to feel good, just because it was your choice.<\/strong> You have created a certain void that can begin to serve as a magnet for everything in life that is truly aligned with your authentic self. That is a wonderful thing and as soon as you feel you genuinely have the space to do it, absolutely revel in your courageousness.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/section><\/p><\/div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-1lk9d99-b2944fa11754823e39137ec3b81b756e\">\n#top .flex_column.av-1lk9d99-b2944fa11754823e39137ec3b81b756e{\nmargin-top:-25px;\nmargin-bottom:0px;\n}\n.responsive #top #wrap_all .flex_column.av-1lk9d99-b2944fa11754823e39137ec3b81b756e{\nmargin-top:-25px;\nmargin-bottom:0px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='flex_column av-1lk9d99-b2944fa11754823e39137ec3b81b756e av_one_full  avia-builder-el-12  el_after_av_one_full  el_before_av_hr  first flex_column_div  column-top-margin'     ><p>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-5hw35p-d5369946d665e183caa8d7dd813370d0\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-5hw35p-d5369946d665e183caa8d7dd813370d0{\nheight:25px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-5hw35p-d5369946d665e183caa8d7dd813370d0 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-13  el_before_av_textblock  avia-builder-el-first  av-medium-hide av-small-hide av-mini-hide'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div><br \/>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-lah1wjr7-19ef4766b4a6570ebd8be38a508143b4\">\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 990px){ \n#top .av_textblock_section.av-lah1wjr7-19ef4766b4a6570ebd8be38a508143b4 .avia_textblock{\nfont-size:16px;\n}\n}\n<\/style>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-lah1wjr7-19ef4766b4a6570ebd8be38a508143b4'   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p>But <strong>for now: grieve. <\/strong><strong>You are worth it and the relationship <\/strong><strong>(and your investment in it) was worth it. <\/strong>In grieving you honor not only all that was, but also every version of you during that relationship and the hopes and dreams of the person you were then. All this to say: Allow yourself to grieve, dear human.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/section><br \/>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-1hx5xkd-03423ddecd253857ad269897e480ff90\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-1hx5xkd-03423ddecd253857ad269897e480ff90{\nheight:25px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-1hx5xkd-03423ddecd253857ad269897e480ff90 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-15  el_after_av_textblock  el_before_av_textblock'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div><br \/>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-lah1xl1n-c49a79debcfe1cb4ae4bc3ad16703c45\">\n#top .av_textblock_section.av-lah1xl1n-c49a79debcfe1cb4ae4bc3ad16703c45 .avia_textblock{\nfont-size:16px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-lah1xl1n-c49a79debcfe1cb4ae4bc3ad16703c45'   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock'  itemprop=\"text\" ><hr \/>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>Tag: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.howtolife.nl\/tag\/love-relationships\">love &amp; relationships<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<\/div><\/section><\/p><\/div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-1glkbr1-0028f8517cf15a2be73a7311b115edeb\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-1glkbr1-0028f8517cf15a2be73a7311b115edeb{\nheight:35px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-1glkbr1-0028f8517cf15a2be73a7311b115edeb hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-17  el_after_av_one_full  el_before_av_hr  av-desktop-hide av-medium-hide'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-1f8bs0t-c6c3da79b8fda3ee20e75166d319cbc1\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-1f8bs0t-c6c3da79b8fda3ee20e75166d319cbc1{\nheight:35px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-1f8bs0t-c6c3da79b8fda3ee20e75166d319cbc1 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-18  el_after_av_hr  el_before_av_one_third  av-small-hide av-mini-hide'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<div  class='flex_column av-1cfsb3h-27f6432944705e9c99f8013693deeb37 av_one_third  avia-builder-el-19  el_after_av_hr  el_before_av_one_third  first flex_column_div'     ><\/div><div  class='flex_column av-1aosv0d-0212fd85ad617632cdb85b90bafee24b av_one_third  avia-builder-el-20  el_after_av_one_third  el_before_av_one_third  flex_column_div'     ><p>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-1987n59-2521a3cd8b954e63ffca4a30a11ce350\">\n#top .av-special-heading.av-1987n59-2521a3cd8b954e63ffca4a30a11ce350{\npadding-bottom:10px;\ncolor:#a54a2d;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-1987n59-2521a3cd8b954e63ffca4a30a11ce350 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-char{\nfont-size:25px;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-1987n59-2521a3cd8b954e63ffca4a30a11ce350 .special-heading-inner-border{\nborder-color:#a54a2d;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-1987n59-2521a3cd8b954e63ffca4a30a11ce350 .av-subheading{\nfont-size:15px;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-1987n59-2521a3cd8b954e63ffca4a30a11ce350 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-wrap:before{\nborder-color:#a54a2d;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-1987n59-2521a3cd8b954e63ffca4a30a11ce350 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-wrap:after{\nborder-color:#a54a2d;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='av-special-heading av-1987n59-2521a3cd8b954e63ffca4a30a11ce350 av-special-heading-h2 custom-color-heading blockquote elegant-quote elegant-centered  avia-builder-el-21  el_before_av_hr  avia-builder-el-first'><h2 class='av-special-heading-tag'  itemprop=\"headline\"  ><span class=\"heading-wrap\">YOU GOT THIS<\/span><\/h2><div class=\"special-heading-border\"><div class=\"special-heading-inner-border\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><br \/>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-18hvn25-2155083cd7852e2f3826f76453c9b750\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-18hvn25-2155083cd7852e2f3826f76453c9b750{\nmargin-top:-25px;\nheight:1px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-18hvn25-2155083cd7852e2f3826f76453c9b750 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-22  el_after_av_heading  avia-builder-el-last  av-desktop-hide av-medium-hide'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div><\/p><\/div><div  class='flex_column av-16rgca5-923fe81df75d3f6cc1222b69a499fbae av_one_third  avia-builder-el-23  el_after_av_one_third  avia-builder-el-last  flex_column_div'     ><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div><\/main><!-- close content main element --><\/div><\/div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-kunkbx-0fc2ef4bae17333baf3fbb15ce63f86a\">\n.avia-section.av-kunkbx-0fc2ef4bae17333baf3fbb15ce63f86a{\nbackground-color:#a54a2d;\nbackground:linear-gradient( to bottom right, #a54a2d, #f4f0ed );\n}\n<\/style>\n<div 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fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class='wp-image-6878 avia-img-lazy-loading-not-6878 avia_image' src=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Shirley-met-lavendel.png\" alt='Shirley met lavendel' title='Shirley met lavendel' height=\"180\" width=\"180\"  itemprop=\"thumbnailUrl\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Shirley-met-lavendel.png 180w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Shirley-met-lavendel-80x80.png 80w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Shirley-met-lavendel-12x12.png 12w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Shirley-met-lavendel-36x36.png 36w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Shirley-met-lavendel-120x120.png 120w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Shirley-met-lavendel-100x100.png 100w\"  sizes=\"(max-width: 180px) 100vw, 180px\" \/><\/div><\/div><\/div><br \/>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-4j50t-829e52cf49246023d2c879cf776a7881\">\n#top .av-special-heading.av-4j50t-829e52cf49246023d2c879cf776a7881{\npadding-bottom:10px;\ncolor:#ffffff;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-4j50t-829e52cf49246023d2c879cf776a7881 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-char{\nfont-size:25px;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-4j50t-829e52cf49246023d2c879cf776a7881 .special-heading-inner-border{\nborder-color:#ffffff;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-4j50t-829e52cf49246023d2c879cf776a7881 .av-subheading{\nfont-size:15px;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-4j50t-829e52cf49246023d2c879cf776a7881 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-wrap:before{\nborder-color:#ffffff;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-4j50t-829e52cf49246023d2c879cf776a7881 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-wrap:after{\nborder-color:#ffffff;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='av-special-heading av-4j50t-829e52cf49246023d2c879cf776a7881 av-special-heading-h3 custom-color-heading blockquote classic-quote  avia-builder-el-29  el_after_av_image  el_before_av_textblock'><h3 class='av-special-heading-tag'  itemprop=\"headline\"  >Hi, it's me, Shirley!<\/h3><div class=\"special-heading-border\"><div class=\"special-heading-inner-border\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><br \/>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-a6r9gt-a82f7082aaa44c2b90e21f4ee3e7180d\">\n#top .av_textblock_section.av-a6r9gt-a82f7082aaa44c2b90e21f4ee3e7180d .avia_textblock{\ncolor:#ffffff;\ntext-align:center;\n}\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 990px){ \n#top .av_textblock_section.av-a6r9gt-a82f7082aaa44c2b90e21f4ee3e7180d .avia_textblock{\nfont-size:16px;\n}\n}\n<\/style>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-a6r9gt-a82f7082aaa44c2b90e21f4ee3e7180d'   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock av_inherit_color'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p>A few years ago I <strong>decided to stop making my life any harder than it already was<\/strong>. And since then my life has been perfect.<\/p>\n<p>Okay, that's a lie.<\/p>\n<p>But thanks to my self-compassion practice I now know how I can, time and time again, <strong>find my way back to my favorite self.<\/strong> And that's what <strong>makes my life so much more easeful &amp; joyful<\/strong> these days.<\/p>\n<p>With my blog posts I hope to do the same for you. <strong>Welcome!<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div><\/section><br \/>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-3chj1-f885f9d70d3208343c1239d45b22447d\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-3chj1-f885f9d70d3208343c1239d45b22447d{\nheight:15px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-3chj1-f885f9d70d3208343c1239d45b22447d hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-31  el_after_av_textblock  el_before_av_button'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div><br \/>\n<div  class='avia-button-wrap av-77s3hp-edd32ecfba4653b929b7832bc1dd8de8-wrap avia-button-center  avia-builder-el-32  el_after_av_hr  avia-builder-el-last'>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-77s3hp-edd32ecfba4653b929b7832bc1dd8de8\">\n#top #wrap_all .avia-button.av-77s3hp-edd32ecfba4653b929b7832bc1dd8de8{\nfont-size:15px;\ntransition:all 0.4s ease-in-out;\n}\n<\/style>\n<a href='https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/about\/'  class='avia-button av-77s3hp-edd32ecfba4653b929b7832bc1dd8de8 av-link-btn avia-icon_select-no avia-size-medium avia-position-center avia-color-theme-color'  target=\"_blank\"  rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"  aria-label=\"More about me\"><span class='avia_iconbox_title' >More about me<\/span><\/a><\/div><\/p><\/div><div  class='flex_column av-66p07x-96582cc5cbd12a4fdb3ff57646d04139 av_one_fifth  avia-builder-el-33  el_after_av_three_fifth  el_before_av_hr  flex_column_div'     ><\/div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-hd13x-556bb6258f3c294f365fbf093a29f8d8\">\n#top 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id=\"style-css-av-shv6pp-42414c7d934dbf0706b766280efbda3e\">\n.avia-section.av-shv6pp-42414c7d934dbf0706b766280efbda3e{\nmargin-top:0px;\nmargin-bottom:0px;\n}\n\n@media only screen and (max-width: 479px){ \n.avia-section.av-shv6pp-42414c7d934dbf0706b766280efbda3e{\nmargin-top:10px;\n}\n}\n<\/style>\n<div id='av_section_3'  class='avia-section av-shv6pp-42414c7d934dbf0706b766280efbda3e main_color avia-section-default avia-no-border-styling  avia-builder-el-36  el_after_av_section  el_before_av_section  av-desktop-hide av-medium-hide av-small-hide av-mini-hide avia-bg-style-scroll container_wrap fullsize'  ><div class='container av-section-cont-open' ><div class='template-page content  av-content-full alpha units'><div class='post-entry post-entry-type-page post-entry-1437'><div class='entry-content-wrapper clearfix'>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-r14e8d-cc502180c09bd921d1e65e8277add3e8\">\n#top 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.avia-button.av-levvgt-357e02426fba34e840112b2489dbef8b{\nfont-size:18px;\ntransition:all 0.4s ease-in-out;\n}\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 990px){ \n#top #wrap_all .avia-button.av-levvgt-357e02426fba34e840112b2489dbef8b{\nmargin:175px 0 175px 0;\n}\n}\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 768px) and (max-width: 989px){ \n#top #wrap_all .avia-button.av-levvgt-357e02426fba34e840112b2489dbef8b{\nmargin:135px 0 135px 0;\n}\n}\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 480px) and (max-width: 767px){ \n#top #wrap_all .avia-button.av-levvgt-357e02426fba34e840112b2489dbef8b{\nmargin:135px 0 150px 0;\n}\n}\n\n@media only screen and (max-width: 479px){ \n#top #wrap_all .avia-button.av-levvgt-357e02426fba34e840112b2489dbef8b{\nmargin:125px 0 125px 0;\n}\n}\n<\/style>\n<a href='https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/?page_id=5243'  class='avia-button av-levvgt-357e02426fba34e840112b2489dbef8b av-link-btn avia-icon_select-no avia-size-large avia-position-center avia-color-light'  target=\"_blank\"  rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"  aria-label=\"TOOLKITS\"><span class='avia_iconbox_title' >TOOLKITS<\/span><\/a><\/div><\/div><div class='av-flex-placeholder'><\/div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-jdjwvx-1cd8518c95715a3e20b84f20921089f0\">\n@keyframes av_boxShadowEffect_av-jdjwvx-1cd8518c95715a3e20b84f20921089f0-row {\n0%   { box-shadow:  0 0 0 0 ; opacity: 1; }\n100% { box-shadow:  0 0 10px 0 ; opacity: 1; }\n}\n@keyframes av_boxShadowEffect_av-jdjwvx-1cd8518c95715a3e20b84f20921089f0-column {\n0%   { box-shadow:  0 0 0 0 ; opacity: 1; }\n100% { box-shadow:  0 0 10px 0 ; opacity: 1; }\n}\n.flex_column.av-jdjwvx-1cd8518c95715a3e20b84f20921089f0{\nbackground:url(https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Tarot-for-self-compassion-meditations.jpg) 50% 50% no-repeat scroll ;\n}\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 990px){ 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target=\"_blank\"  rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"  aria-label=\"FREE RESOURCES\"><span class='avia_iconbox_title' >FREE RESOURCES<\/span><\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div><!--close column table wrapper. Autoclose: 1 -->\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-f3w5d9-c09bb4d7bee418b7ae5ba2259bdb10de\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-f3w5d9-c09bb4d7bee418b7ae5ba2259bdb10de{\nheight:100px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-f3w5d9-c09bb4d7bee418b7ae5ba2259bdb10de hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-44  el_after_av_one_third  el_before_av_hr  av-medium-hide av-small-hide av-mini-hide'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-dxt8bx-381cdea0274b6d6d72d1b0ba275edbd5\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-dxt8bx-381cdea0274b6d6d72d1b0ba275edbd5{\nheight:25px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-dxt8bx-381cdea0274b6d6d72d1b0ba275edbd5 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-45  el_after_av_hr  el_before_av_hr  av-desktop-hide av-medium-hide'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" 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critic\"   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='av-inner-masonry-sizer'><\/div><figure class='av-inner-masonry main_color'><div class=\"av-masonry-outerimage-container\"><div class='av-masonry-image-container'  ><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" class=\"wp-image-7223 avia-img-lazy-loading-not-7223\" src=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Innerlijke-criticus-loslaten.jpg\" title=\"Getting rid of your inner critic\"  alt=\"Innerlijke criticus loslaten\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Innerlijke-criticus-loslaten.jpg 640w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Innerlijke-criticus-loslaten-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Innerlijke-criticus-loslaten-18x12.jpg 18w, 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id='av-masonry-1-item-2885' data-av-masonry-item='2885' class='av-masonry-entry isotope-item post-2885 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-how-to tag-mindset-identity  av-masonry-item-with-image' title=\"Feeling bad without knowing why\"   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='av-inner-masonry-sizer'><\/div><figure class='av-inner-masonry main_color'><div class=\"av-masonry-outerimage-container\"><div class='av-masonry-image-container'  ><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"426\" class=\"wp-image-6998 avia-img-lazy-loading-not-6998\" src=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/Rot-voelen-zonder-reden.jpg\" title=\"Feeling bad without knowing why\"  alt=\"Rot voelen zonder reden\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/Rot-voelen-zonder-reden.jpg 640w, 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These are the 3 types of loss you're experiencing and how to support yourself through it.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7143,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[254],"tags":[258],"class_list":["post-1437","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-how-to","tag-love-relationships"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.1.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Een relatie verbreken doet pijn \u2013 dit is waarom - moreselfcompassion.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Een relatie verbreken doet pijn, en wel op 3 verschillende manieren. 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