{"id":622,"date":"2023-06-25T10:24:39","date_gmt":"2023-06-25T09:24:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.howtolife.nl\/?p=622"},"modified":"2026-03-13T14:13:15","modified_gmt":"2026-03-13T13:13:15","slug":"innerlijke-criticus-loslaten","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/innerlijke-criticus-loslaten\/","title":{"rendered":"Why getting rid of your inner critic isn\u2019t working - 3 vital insights"},"content":{"rendered":"<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-71enlq-244d3e1d1eb9c1fc04e7fbdce5b8be2a\">\n.avia-section.av-71enlq-244d3e1d1eb9c1fc04e7fbdce5b8be2a{\nmargin-top:-35px;\nmargin-bottom:0px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div id='av_section_1'  class='avia-section av-71enlq-244d3e1d1eb9c1fc04e7fbdce5b8be2a main_color avia-section-default avia-no-border-styling  avia-builder-el-0  el_before_av_section  avia-builder-el-first  avia-bg-style-scroll container_wrap fullsize'  ><div class='container av-section-cont-open' ><main  role=\"main\" itemprop=\"mainContentOfPage\"  class='template-page content  av-content-full alpha units'><div class='post-entry post-entry-type-page post-entry-622'><div class='entry-content-wrapper clearfix'>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-6y1gy6-47d25a24e83249fea3faf08f44692531\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-6y1gy6-47d25a24e83249fea3faf08f44692531{\nheight:35px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-6y1gy6-47d25a24e83249fea3faf08f44692531 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-1  el_before_av_image  avia-builder-el-first  av-small-hide av-mini-hide'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-laijn3iw-9d6d72c779b371051eca3674cb43c835\">\n.avia-image-container.av-laijn3iw-9d6d72c779b371051eca3674cb43c835 img.avia_image{\nbox-shadow:none;\n}\n.avia-image-container.av-laijn3iw-9d6d72c779b371051eca3674cb43c835 .av-image-caption-overlay-center{\ncolor:#ffffff;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='avia-image-container av-laijn3iw-9d6d72c779b371051eca3674cb43c835 av-styling- avia-align-center  avia-builder-el-2  el_after_av_hr  el_before_av_hr'   itemprop=\"image\" itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/ImageObject\" ><div class=\"avia-image-container-inner\"><div class=\"avia-image-overlay-wrap\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class='wp-image-7223 avia-img-lazy-loading-not-7223 avia_image' src=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Innerlijke-criticus-loslaten.jpg\" alt='Innerlijke criticus loslaten' title='Getting rid of your inner critic' height=\"427\" width=\"640\"  itemprop=\"thumbnailUrl\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Innerlijke-criticus-loslaten.jpg 640w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Innerlijke-criticus-loslaten-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Innerlijke-criticus-loslaten-18x12.jpg 18w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Innerlijke-criticus-loslaten-450x300.jpg 450w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/Innerlijke-criticus-loslaten-600x400.jpg 600w\"  sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-6rtq5y-f305c1f52d48b6fd06c99b6ec69d9adf\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-6rtq5y-f305c1f52d48b6fd06c99b6ec69d9adf{\nmargin-top:-25px;\nheight:1px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-6rtq5y-f305c1f52d48b6fd06c99b6ec69d9adf hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-3  el_after_av_image  el_before_av_heading  av-desktop-hide av-medium-hide'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-laiji6t7-478bc611755a8cd01153e4adf0ac8b5a\">\n#top .av-special-heading.av-laiji6t7-478bc611755a8cd01153e4adf0ac8b5a{\npadding-bottom:10px;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-laiji6t7-478bc611755a8cd01153e4adf0ac8b5a .av-special-heading-tag .heading-char{\nfont-size:25px;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-laiji6t7-478bc611755a8cd01153e4adf0ac8b5a .av-subheading{\nfont-size:15px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='av-special-heading av-laiji6t7-478bc611755a8cd01153e4adf0ac8b5a av-special-heading-h1 blockquote modern-quote modern-centered  avia-builder-el-4  el_after_av_hr  el_before_av_textblock  av-linked-heading'><h1 class='av-special-heading-tag'  itemprop=\"headline\"  >Why getting rid of your inner critic isn\u2019t working - 3 vital insights<\/h1><div class=\"special-heading-border\"><div class=\"special-heading-inner-border\"><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-laijjp6e-1a62b9eaba0e8029822792dc0f1ffcd6\">\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 990px){ \n#top .av_textblock_section.av-laijjp6e-1a62b9eaba0e8029822792dc0f1ffcd6 .avia_textblock{\nfont-size:16px;\n}\n}\n<\/style>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-laijjp6e-1a62b9eaba0e8029822792dc0f1ffcd6'   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>Let's start with the bad news: <strong>getting<\/strong> <strong>rid of your inner critic is not really an option<\/strong>. There are no exercises or practices that will make this voice disappear. But wait, there is also good news! You can live a very pleasant and peaceful life WITH this voice inside your head. And although getting rid of your inner critic is not a possibility, detaching and liberating yourself from it certainly is. Here are 3 key insights that will help you do this.<\/em><\/p>\n<h2>Insight 1: You are not your inner critic<\/h2>\n<p>Very important. Super important. Incredibly important. This. Is. Not. You. <strong>You are not this voice. <\/strong>It\u2019s a mechanism that is born out of the accumulation of your past experiences, the things you had to do or be (or specifically not do or be) in order to keep yourself safe, or receive (fragments of) love, appreciation and\/or recognition. \nFor example: \u2018If I am nice, know how to adapt, and ignore my own needs (you know, if I\u2019m a good girl\/boy\/kid), appreciation is on the table. It\u2019s not guaranteed, but it\u2019s there. Check. From now on, if I am not being \u2018good\u2019 (enough) or if I\u2019m taking up (too much) space, I will intervene and bring myself back to safety.'\nAnd even the words this voice utters did not originate within you, you\u2019ve picked them up from your environment. Think of a small child that suddenly starts shouting ''fuck'' all day long. They probably did not exactly wake up one day and decide to let their inner gangster out, they just heard someone else say it. Same for this voice.<\/p>\n<p>So, in conclusion, your inner critic is a result of conditioning.\nIn other words: <strong>NOT. YOUR. FAULT.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div><\/section>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-6kahi6-316ca638f7fbb68b53da0544b247d810\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-6kahi6-316ca638f7fbb68b53da0544b247d810{\nheight:15px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-6kahi6-316ca638f7fbb68b53da0544b247d810 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-6  el_after_av_textblock  el_before_av_textblock'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-laijk1vk-a3306945bd8aa857ea3c1ddb400c657a'   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock'  itemprop=\"text\" ><blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>The existence of your inner critic is not your fault; but it is your responsibility to learn to work with it.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div><\/section>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-6bpxha-3f9497a57a38b873db12fee66dba132c\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-6bpxha-3f9497a57a38b873db12fee66dba132c{\nheight:25px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-6bpxha-3f9497a57a38b873db12fee66dba132c hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-8  el_after_av_textblock  el_before_av_textblock'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-laijkk4j-7df57d2f859ba09a8083f104835019a6\">\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 990px){ \n#top .av_textblock_section.av-laijkk4j-7df57d2f859ba09a8083f104835019a6 .avia_textblock{\nfont-size:16px;\n}\n}\n<\/style>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-laijkk4j-7df57d2f859ba09a8083f104835019a6'   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock'  itemprop=\"text\" ><h2>Insight 2: Your inner critic means well<\/h2>\n<p>Very hard to see and even harder to believe, I know.<\/p>\n<p>Once upon a time, when you were just a little you, this voice was created because you wanted the best for yourself - a good life, with as much warmth and security as possible. Even though, now, it often causes you to keep yourself small, to hold back from standing up for yourself, to constantly procrastinate because perfection is unattainable, your inner critic has the very best of intentions. And in those particular circumstances back then, its mechanisms worked really well. So well, in fact, that you still carry them with you.<\/p>\n<p>Can you try to show some compassion for the <em>intention<\/em> of your inner critic and how this part of you is - with its limited toolbox (read: judgment, disapproval and criticism) - trying to arrange a good life for you? <strong>You have your best interests at heart and you\u2019ve simply learned that this is the way to get there.<\/strong> That is (very!) shitty, but not wrong, it's not bad. It's okay. It is.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/section>\n\n<\/div><\/div><\/main><!-- close content main element --><\/div><\/div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-28wcm6-01cedf8d3b69af5abf47de508c5d17ed\">\n.avia-section.av-28wcm6-01cedf8d3b69af5abf47de508c5d17ed{\nbackground-color:#426b69;\nbackground:linear-gradient( to top right, #426b69, #f4f0ed );\nmargin-top:-15px;\nmargin-bottom:0px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div id='av_section_2'  class='avia-section av-28wcm6-01cedf8d3b69af5abf47de508c5d17ed main_color avia-section-default avia-no-border-styling  avia-builder-el-10  el_after_av_section  el_before_av_section  av-desktop-hide av-medium-hide av-small-hide av-mini-hide avia-bg-style-scroll container_wrap fullsize'  ><div class='container av-section-cont-open' ><div class='template-page content  av-content-full alpha units'><div class='post-entry post-entry-type-page post-entry-622'><div class='entry-content-wrapper clearfix'>\n<div  class='flex_column av-21hwsm-00bf32f1b9a1c148b0804897a7458c6f av_one_full  avia-builder-el-11  avia-builder-el-no-sibling  first flex_column_div'     ><p>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-lsdc98k5-07faab2d8d8b2314df4258e45bbb7c89\">\n#top .av-special-heading.av-lsdc98k5-07faab2d8d8b2314df4258e45bbb7c89{\npadding-bottom:10px;\ncolor:#ffffff;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-lsdc98k5-07faab2d8d8b2314df4258e45bbb7c89 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-char{\nfont-size:25px;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-lsdc98k5-07faab2d8d8b2314df4258e45bbb7c89 .special-heading-inner-border{\nborder-color:#ffffff;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-lsdc98k5-07faab2d8d8b2314df4258e45bbb7c89 .av-subheading{\nfont-size:15px;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-lsdc98k5-07faab2d8d8b2314df4258e45bbb7c89 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-wrap:before{\nborder-color:#ffffff;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-lsdc98k5-07faab2d8d8b2314df4258e45bbb7c89 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-wrap:after{\nborder-color:#ffffff;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='av-special-heading av-lsdc98k5-07faab2d8d8b2314df4258e45bbb7c89 av-special-heading-h2 custom-color-heading blockquote elegant-quote elegant-centered  avia-builder-el-12  el_before_av_textblock  avia-builder-el-first'><h2 class='av-special-heading-tag'  itemprop=\"headline\"  ><span class=\"heading-wrap\">Longing for some fluff-free, practical tools to help you easily &amp; effectively calm all types of overthinking - including an unhinged inner critic?<\/span><\/h2><div class=\"special-heading-border\"><div class=\"special-heading-inner-border\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><br \/>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-lsdcb7ad-818810daa57a539ec4a8077e9b1ff5eb\">\n#top .av_textblock_section.av-lsdcb7ad-818810daa57a539ec4a8077e9b1ff5eb .avia_textblock{\ncolor:#ffffff;\ntext-align:center;\n}\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 990px){ \n#top .av_textblock_section.av-lsdcb7ad-818810daa57a539ec4a8077e9b1ff5eb .avia_textblock{\nfont-size:16px;\n}\n}\n<\/style>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-lsdcb7ad-818810daa57a539ec4a8077e9b1ff5eb'   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock av_inherit_color'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p>Be sure to check out my toolkit <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/soothing-the-stormy-brain\/\"><em>Soothing the Stormy Brain<\/em><\/a><\/span>.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/section><br \/>\n<div  class='avia-button-wrap av-1wssty-94699f172d1974dc296ffcd29d8d504f-wrap avia-button-center  avia-builder-el-14  el_after_av_textblock  el_before_av_hr'>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-1wssty-94699f172d1974dc296ffcd29d8d504f\">\n#top #wrap_all .avia-button.av-1wssty-94699f172d1974dc296ffcd29d8d504f{\nfont-size:15px;\nbackground-color:#426b69;\nborder-color:#426b69;\ntransition:all 0.4s ease-in-out;\nmargin:15px 0 0 0;\n}\n#top #wrap_all .avia-button.av-1wssty-94699f172d1974dc296ffcd29d8d504f:hover{\nbackground-color:#426b69;\ncolor:white;\ntransition:all 0.4s ease-in-out;\n}\n#top #wrap_all .avia-button.av-1wssty-94699f172d1974dc296ffcd29d8d504f:hover .avia-svg-icon svg:first-child{\nfill:white;\nstroke:white;\n}\n<\/style>\n<a href='https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/?page_id=8502'  class='avia-button av-1wssty-94699f172d1974dc296ffcd29d8d504f av-link-btn avia-icon_select-no avia-size-large avia-position-center avia-font-color-theme-color'  target=\"_blank\"  rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"  aria-label=\"Take me to those tools!\"><span class='avia_iconbox_title' >Take me to those tools!<\/span><\/a><\/div><br \/>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-lsdcklpr-2e0101248d7d1a945cb3cdaa69315f14\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-lsdcklpr-2e0101248d7d1a945cb3cdaa69315f14{\nheight:15px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-lsdcklpr-2e0101248d7d1a945cb3cdaa69315f14 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-15  el_after_av_button  avia-builder-el-last'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div><\/p><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><!-- close content main div --><\/div><\/div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-lsdc6ujn-44831312042155d75cca2e01b90201a0\">\n.avia-section.av-lsdc6ujn-44831312042155d75cca2e01b90201a0{\nmargin-top:-90px;\nmargin-bottom:0px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div id='av_section_3'  class='avia-section av-lsdc6ujn-44831312042155d75cca2e01b90201a0 main_color avia-section-default avia-no-border-styling  avia-builder-el-16  el_after_av_section  el_before_av_section  avia-bg-style-scroll container_wrap fullsize'  ><div class='container av-section-cont-open' ><div class='template-page content  av-content-full alpha units'><div class='post-entry post-entry-type-page post-entry-622'><div class='entry-content-wrapper clearfix'>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-lsdcjfmm-27a7f59b30a37b01364ba37f8d7b82e4\">\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 990px){ \n#top .av_textblock_section.av-lsdcjfmm-27a7f59b30a37b01364ba37f8d7b82e4 .avia_textblock{\nfont-size:16px;\n}\n}\n<\/style>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-lsdcjfmm-27a7f59b30a37b01364ba37f8d7b82e4'   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock'  itemprop=\"text\" ><h2>Insight 3: You have no control over this voice<\/h2>\n<p>You now know that your inner critic is working properly and means well, but it is still bothering you, very much so. You may still feel quite powerless in the face of this internal voice, but you are not. Because, even though you have no say in when this voice gets triggered and what your critic is going to cry out this time, <strong>you do have the freedom to choose how to respond to it<\/strong>. That\u2019s the only thing you have any control over; your reaction to your self-criticism. You don't have to fight it, you don't have to get angry with it (because then you often get angry with yourself - more about that in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/boos-op-jezelf-zijn\/\"><u>this blog post<\/u><\/a>), you don't have to go agree with it, <strong>you don't have to believe it<\/strong>. You don't have to do anything with it at all.<\/p>\n<h3>Focus on the only thing you can control<\/h3>\n<p><strong>So, the only thing you can really do is try to accept this voice<\/strong>. And choose again and again not to resent, reject or blame (this part of) yourself. No matter how loud the critic may shout. And no, this ain't easy. This requires a lot of courage and stamina. But you can do this. You can decide that as soon as you become aware of your self-judgment, you will no longer participate in it. In those moments you might, for example, say something like: ''Thanks, but no thanks. I am not going to blame myself for what you are trying to make me believe. It's bad enough as it is, and<strong> I'm not going to make it any worse<\/strong>.''<\/p>\n<h2>Getting rid of your inner critic isn\u2019t the answer, collaborating with it is<\/h2>\n<p>The goal is to collaborate with your inner critic. <strong>E<\/strong><strong>very moment is the best moment to (re)find that compassion within yourself.<\/strong> Even if you have been berating yourself for days (weeks, months, years), now is the time to stop making it worse than it already is. This voice does not have to quiet down, change or disappear \u2013 it belongs to you and your current experience. It's on you to keep reminding yourself that you are empowered to choose how to deal with it, you can decide how you respond to your inner critic. Coming home is always just one decision away.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/section>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-1rueri-15a8516b14c31bd11de87fde3a472c42\">\n#top .flex_column.av-1rueri-15a8516b14c31bd11de87fde3a472c42{\nmargin-top:-25px;\nmargin-bottom:0px;\n}\n.responsive #top #wrap_all .flex_column.av-1rueri-15a8516b14c31bd11de87fde3a472c42{\nmargin-top:-25px;\nmargin-bottom:0px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='flex_column av-1rueri-15a8516b14c31bd11de87fde3a472c42 av_one_full  avia-builder-el-18  el_after_av_textblock  el_before_av_hr  first flex_column_div  column-top-margin'     ><p>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-1mi8jy-afd2a202faacb7793852eee514ba3f88\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-1mi8jy-afd2a202faacb7793852eee514ba3f88{\nheight:50px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-1mi8jy-afd2a202faacb7793852eee514ba3f88 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-19  el_before_av_textblock  avia-builder-el-first'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div><br \/>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-1fdwxi-f089fd80fb38d98424ae09d533a4e450\">\n#top .av_textblock_section.av-1fdwxi-f089fd80fb38d98424ae09d533a4e450 .avia_textblock{\nfont-size:16px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-1fdwxi-f089fd80fb38d98424ae09d533a4e450'   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock'  itemprop=\"text\" ><hr \/>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>Tag: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.howtolife.nl\/tag\/mindset-identity\">mindset &amp; identity<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<\/div><\/section><\/p><\/div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-499ge-8c582198bc70ab1f92f3cd077f983ddf\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-499ge-8c582198bc70ab1f92f3cd077f983ddf{\nheight:35px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr 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el_before_av_one_third  flex_column_div'     ><p>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-lppom-362f80b052fb858c15f9c0dfc878cdff\">\n#top .av-special-heading.av-lppom-362f80b052fb858c15f9c0dfc878cdff{\npadding-bottom:10px;\ncolor:#a54a2d;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-lppom-362f80b052fb858c15f9c0dfc878cdff .av-special-heading-tag .heading-char{\nfont-size:25px;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-lppom-362f80b052fb858c15f9c0dfc878cdff .special-heading-inner-border{\nborder-color:#a54a2d;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-lppom-362f80b052fb858c15f9c0dfc878cdff .av-subheading{\nfont-size:15px;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-lppom-362f80b052fb858c15f9c0dfc878cdff .av-special-heading-tag .heading-wrap:before{\nborder-color:#a54a2d;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-lppom-362f80b052fb858c15f9c0dfc878cdff .av-special-heading-tag .heading-wrap:after{\nborder-color:#a54a2d;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='av-special-heading av-lppom-362f80b052fb858c15f9c0dfc878cdff 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avia-builder-el-last  flex_column_div'     ><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><!-- close content main div --><\/div><\/div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-24u03i-0404e62839a87f9c11ebbb7c3f3d00fd\">\n.avia-section.av-24u03i-0404e62839a87f9c11ebbb7c3f3d00fd{\nbackground-color:#a54a2d;\nbackground:linear-gradient( to bottom right, #a54a2d, #f4f0ed );\n}\n<\/style>\n<div id='av_section_4'  class='avia-section av-24u03i-0404e62839a87f9c11ebbb7c3f3d00fd main_color avia-section-default avia-no-border-styling  avia-builder-el-28  el_after_av_section  el_before_av_section  avia-bg-style-scroll container_wrap fullsize'  ><div class='container av-section-cont-open' ><div class='template-page content  av-content-full alpha units'><div class='post-entry post-entry-type-page post-entry-622'><div class='entry-content-wrapper clearfix'>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-1wp112-a155d7e38550c6d573a4560cc68ced7e\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-1wp112-a155d7e38550c6d573a4560cc68ced7e{\nheight:15px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-1wp112-a155d7e38550c6d573a4560cc68ced7e hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-29  el_before_av_one_fifth  avia-builder-el-first'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<div  class='flex_column av-1rhbba-e10c0a8dff546099a23ff22219e34336 av_one_fifth  avia-builder-el-30  el_after_av_hr  el_before_av_three_fifth  first flex_column_div'     ><\/div><div  class='flex_column av-1j7vr2-162b2232654a379105ede56820fc9fce av_three_fifth  avia-builder-el-31  el_after_av_one_fifth  el_before_av_one_fifth  flex_column_div'     ><p>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-1diqpy-66f6661a785c7b3b6e809c58fd41e9a6\">\n.avia-image-container.av-1diqpy-66f6661a785c7b3b6e809c58fd41e9a6 img.avia_image{\nbox-shadow:none;\n}\n.avia-image-container.av-1diqpy-66f6661a785c7b3b6e809c58fd41e9a6 .av-image-caption-overlay-center{\ncolor:#ffffff;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='avia-image-container av-1diqpy-66f6661a785c7b3b6e809c58fd41e9a6 av-styling- avia-align-center  avia-builder-el-32  el_before_av_heading  avia-builder-el-first'   itemprop=\"image\" itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/ImageObject\" ><div class=\"avia-image-container-inner\"><div class=\"avia-image-overlay-wrap\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class='wp-image-6878 avia-img-lazy-loading-not-6878 avia_image' src=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Shirley-met-lavendel.png\" alt='Shirley met lavendel' title='Shirley met lavendel' height=\"180\" width=\"180\"  itemprop=\"thumbnailUrl\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Shirley-met-lavendel.png 180w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Shirley-met-lavendel-80x80.png 80w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Shirley-met-lavendel-12x12.png 12w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Shirley-met-lavendel-36x36.png 36w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Shirley-met-lavendel-120x120.png 120w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Shirley-met-lavendel-100x100.png 100w\"  sizes=\"(max-width: 180px) 100vw, 180px\" \/><\/div><\/div><\/div><br \/>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-16kw4e-39b720ba8f41f5b15207010f907a5cd4\">\n#top .av-special-heading.av-16kw4e-39b720ba8f41f5b15207010f907a5cd4{\npadding-bottom:10px;\ncolor:#ffffff;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-16kw4e-39b720ba8f41f5b15207010f907a5cd4 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-char{\nfont-size:25px;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-16kw4e-39b720ba8f41f5b15207010f907a5cd4 .special-heading-inner-border{\nborder-color:#ffffff;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-16kw4e-39b720ba8f41f5b15207010f907a5cd4 .av-subheading{\nfont-size:15px;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-16kw4e-39b720ba8f41f5b15207010f907a5cd4 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-wrap:before{\nborder-color:#ffffff;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-16kw4e-39b720ba8f41f5b15207010f907a5cd4 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-wrap:after{\nborder-color:#ffffff;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='av-special-heading av-16kw4e-39b720ba8f41f5b15207010f907a5cd4 av-special-heading-h3 custom-color-heading blockquote classic-quote  avia-builder-el-33  el_after_av_image  el_before_av_textblock'><h3 class='av-special-heading-tag'  itemprop=\"headline\"  >Hi, it's me, Shirley!<\/h3><div class=\"special-heading-border\"><div class=\"special-heading-inner-border\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><br \/>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-12p2xy-d804f652a7598461aaeaf75b8797e047\">\n#top .av_textblock_section.av-12p2xy-d804f652a7598461aaeaf75b8797e047 .avia_textblock{\ncolor:#ffffff;\ntext-align:center;\n}\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 990px){ \n#top .av_textblock_section.av-12p2xy-d804f652a7598461aaeaf75b8797e047 .avia_textblock{\nfont-size:16px;\n}\n}\n<\/style>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-12p2xy-d804f652a7598461aaeaf75b8797e047'   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock av_inherit_color'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p>A few years ago I <strong>decided to stop making my life any harder than it already was<\/strong>. And since then my life has been perfect.<\/p>\n<p>Okay, that's a lie.<\/p>\n<p>But thanks to my self-compassion practice I now know how I can, time and time again, <strong>find my way back to my favorite self.<\/strong> And that's what <strong>makes my life so much more easeful &amp; joyful<\/strong> these days.<\/p>\n<p>With my blog posts I hope to do the same for you. <strong>Welcome!<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div><\/section><br \/>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-ug19q-77e529cf5e406135e140c4ae2ef8eb40\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-ug19q-77e529cf5e406135e140c4ae2ef8eb40{\nheight:15px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-ug19q-77e529cf5e406135e140c4ae2ef8eb40 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-35  el_after_av_textblock  el_before_av_button'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div><br \/>\n<div  class='avia-button-wrap av-sqhzq-a2dbfd491f60f11d505f83aff0116196-wrap avia-button-center  avia-builder-el-36  el_after_av_hr  avia-builder-el-last'>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-sqhzq-a2dbfd491f60f11d505f83aff0116196\">\n#top #wrap_all .avia-button.av-sqhzq-a2dbfd491f60f11d505f83aff0116196{\nfont-size:15px;\ntransition:all 0.4s ease-in-out;\n}\n<\/style>\n<a href='https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/about\/'  class='avia-button av-sqhzq-a2dbfd491f60f11d505f83aff0116196 av-link-btn avia-icon_select-no avia-size-medium avia-position-center avia-color-theme-color'  target=\"_blank\"  rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"  aria-label=\"More about me\"><span class='avia_iconbox_title' >More about me<\/span><\/a><\/div><\/p><\/div><div  class='flex_column av-kaxr2-36fee88ae369b81c4d5dcb553c879348 av_one_fifth  avia-builder-el-37  el_after_av_three_fifth  el_before_av_hr  flex_column_div'     ><\/div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-dsbri-5a0f454f1994c427ee8ea436ce4e4b25\">\n#top 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avia-section-default avia-no-border-styling  avia-builder-el-51  el_after_av_section  avia-builder-el-last  avia-bg-style-scroll container_wrap fullsize'  ><div class='container av-section-cont-open' ><div class='template-page content  av-content-full alpha units'><div class='post-entry post-entry-type-page post-entry-622'><div class='entry-content-wrapper clearfix'>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-rds4u-41de3fa95c1ad0ff8e6293d0e499bd1f\">\n#top .av-special-heading.av-rds4u-41de3fa95c1ad0ff8e6293d0e499bd1f{\npadding-bottom:10px;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-rds4u-41de3fa95c1ad0ff8e6293d0e499bd1f .av-special-heading-tag .heading-char{\nfont-size:25px;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-rds4u-41de3fa95c1ad0ff8e6293d0e499bd1f .av-subheading{\nfont-size:15px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='av-special-heading av-rds4u-41de3fa95c1ad0ff8e6293d0e499bd1f av-special-heading-h2  avia-builder-el-52  el_before_av_masonry_entries  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itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='av-inner-masonry-sizer'><\/div><figure class='av-inner-masonry main_color'><div class=\"av-masonry-outerimage-container\"><div class='av-masonry-image-container'  ><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" class=\"wp-image-7865 avia-img-lazy-loading-not-7865\" src=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Tips-voor-het-omgaan-met-spijt.jpg\" title=\"Tips for dealing with regret\"  alt=\"Tips voor het omgaan met spijt\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Tips-voor-het-omgaan-met-spijt.jpg 640w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Tips-voor-het-omgaan-met-spijt-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Tips-voor-het-omgaan-met-spijt-18x12.jpg 18w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Tips-voor-het-omgaan-met-spijt-450x300.jpg 450w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Tips-voor-het-omgaan-met-spijt-600x400.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/div><\/div><figcaption class='av-inner-masonry-content site-background'><div class='av-inner-masonry-content-pos'><div class='av-inner-masonry-content-pos-content'><div class='avia-arrow'><\/div><h3 class='av-masonry-entry-title entry-title'  itemprop=\"headline\" >4 tips for dealing with regret<\/h3><span class='av-masonry-date meta-color updated'><\/span><span class=\"av-masonry-text-sep text-sep-author\">\/<\/span><span class='av-masonry-author meta-color author'><span class='fn'>by Shirley<\/span><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/a><!--end av-masonry entry--><a href=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/je-rot-voelen-zonder-reden\/\"  id='av-masonry-1-item-2885' data-av-masonry-item='2885' class='av-masonry-entry isotope-item post-2885 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-how-to tag-mindset-identity  av-masonry-item-with-image' title=\"Feeling bad without knowing why\"   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='av-inner-masonry-sizer'><\/div><figure class='av-inner-masonry main_color'><div class=\"av-masonry-outerimage-container\"><div class='av-masonry-image-container'  ><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"426\" class=\"wp-image-6998 avia-img-lazy-loading-not-6998\" src=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/Rot-voelen-zonder-reden.jpg\" title=\"Feeling bad without knowing why\"  alt=\"Rot voelen zonder reden\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/Rot-voelen-zonder-reden.jpg 640w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/Rot-voelen-zonder-reden-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/Rot-voelen-zonder-reden-18x12.jpg 18w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/Rot-voelen-zonder-reden-450x300.jpg 450w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/09\/Rot-voelen-zonder-reden-600x399.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/div><\/div><figcaption class='av-inner-masonry-content site-background'><div class='av-inner-masonry-content-pos'><div class='av-inner-masonry-content-pos-content'><div class='avia-arrow'><\/div><h3 class='av-masonry-entry-title entry-title'  itemprop=\"headline\" >Feeling bad without knowing why? Do this.<\/h3><span class='av-masonry-date meta-color updated'><\/span><span class=\"av-masonry-text-sep text-sep-author\">\/<\/span><span class='av-masonry-author meta-color author'><span class='fn'>by Shirley<\/span><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/a><!--end av-masonry entry--><a href=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/nergens-echt-goed-in\/\"  id='av-masonry-1-item-1024' data-av-masonry-item='1024' class='av-masonry-entry isotope-item post-1024 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-how-to tag-growth-healing tag-mindset-identity  av-masonry-item-with-image' title=\"Not really good at anything\"   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='av-inner-masonry-sizer'><\/div><figure class='av-inner-masonry main_color'><div class=\"av-masonry-outerimage-container\"><div class='av-masonry-image-container'  ><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" class=\"wp-image-7205 avia-img-lazy-loading-not-7205\" src=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Nergens-echt-goed-in.jpg\" title=\"Not really good at anything\"  alt=\"Nergens echt goed in\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Nergens-echt-goed-in.jpg 640w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Nergens-echt-goed-in-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Nergens-echt-goed-in-18x12.jpg 18w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Nergens-echt-goed-in-450x300.jpg 450w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Nergens-echt-goed-in-600x400.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/div><\/div><figcaption class='av-inner-masonry-content site-background'><div class='av-inner-masonry-content-pos'><div class='av-inner-masonry-content-pos-content'><div class='avia-arrow'><\/div><h3 class='av-masonry-entry-title entry-title'  itemprop=\"headline\" >Not really good at anything? This is for you!<\/h3><span class='av-masonry-date meta-color updated'><\/span><span class=\"av-masonry-text-sep text-sep-author\">\/<\/span><span class='av-masonry-author meta-color author'><span class='fn'>by Shirley<\/span><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/a><!--end av-masonry entry--><a href=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/beter-voor-jezelf-zorgen\/\"  id='av-masonry-1-item-5892' data-av-masonry-item='5892' class='av-masonry-entry isotope-item post-5892 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-how-to tag-boundaries-selfcare  av-masonry-item-with-image' title=\"Take better care of yourself\"   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='av-inner-masonry-sizer'><\/div><figure class='av-inner-masonry main_color'><div class=\"av-masonry-outerimage-container\"><div class='av-masonry-image-container'  ><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" class=\"wp-image-7016 avia-img-lazy-loading-not-7016\" src=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/Beter-voor-jezelf-zorgen.jpg\" title=\"Take better care of yourself\"  alt=\"Beter voor jezelf zorgen\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/Beter-voor-jezelf-zorgen.jpg 640w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/Beter-voor-jezelf-zorgen-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/Beter-voor-jezelf-zorgen-18x12.jpg 18w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/Beter-voor-jezelf-zorgen-450x300.jpg 450w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/Beter-voor-jezelf-zorgen-600x400.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/div><\/div><figcaption class='av-inner-masonry-content site-background'><div class='av-inner-masonry-content-pos'><div class='av-inner-masonry-content-pos-content'><div class='avia-arrow'><\/div><h3 class='av-masonry-entry-title entry-title'  itemprop=\"headline\" >How to take better care of yourself<\/h3><span class='av-masonry-date meta-color updated'><\/span><span class=\"av-masonry-text-sep text-sep-author\">\/<\/span><span class='av-masonry-author meta-color author'><span class='fn'>by Shirley<\/span><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/a><!--end av-masonry entry--><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Although getting rid of your inner critic is not a possibility, detaching and liberating yourself from it certainly is &amp; this is how you do it.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7223,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[254],"tags":[260],"class_list":["post-622","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-how-to","tag-mindset-identity"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.1.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Je innerlijke criticus loslaten lukt maar niet? 3 essenti\u00eble inzichten. - moreselfcompassion.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Je innerlijke criticus loslaten kan niet. 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