{"id":777,"date":"2023-05-21T10:50:50","date_gmt":"2023-05-21T09:50:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.howtolife.nl\/?p=777"},"modified":"2026-03-13T13:58:26","modified_gmt":"2026-03-13T12:58:26","slug":"jezelf-wegcijferen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/","title":{"rendered":"Why putting yourself last is harmful to your relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-6ldzox-99f8c1fb65a4f53a841711132d292a34\">\n.avia-section.av-6ldzox-99f8c1fb65a4f53a841711132d292a34{\nmargin-top:-35px;\nmargin-bottom:0px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div id='av_section_1'  class='avia-section av-6ldzox-99f8c1fb65a4f53a841711132d292a34 main_color avia-section-default avia-no-border-styling  avia-builder-el-0  el_before_av_section  avia-builder-el-first  avia-bg-style-scroll container_wrap fullsize'  ><div class='container av-section-cont-open' ><main  role=\"main\" itemprop=\"mainContentOfPage\"  class='template-page content  av-content-full alpha units'><div class='post-entry post-entry-type-page post-entry-777'><div class='entry-content-wrapper clearfix'>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-6fvwip-931148ceea2ad2e7600a0c7fbf896176\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-6fvwip-931148ceea2ad2e7600a0c7fbf896176{\nheight:35px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-6fvwip-931148ceea2ad2e7600a0c7fbf896176 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-1  el_before_av_image  avia-builder-el-first  av-small-hide av-mini-hide'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-laij0eec-2ca53d60d348818d2512cca6ae355a3a\">\n.avia-image-container.av-laij0eec-2ca53d60d348818d2512cca6ae355a3a img.avia_image{\nbox-shadow:none;\n}\n.avia-image-container.av-laij0eec-2ca53d60d348818d2512cca6ae355a3a .av-image-caption-overlay-center{\ncolor:#ffffff;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='avia-image-container av-laij0eec-2ca53d60d348818d2512cca6ae355a3a av-styling- avia-align-center  avia-builder-el-2  el_after_av_hr  el_before_av_hr'   itemprop=\"image\" itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/ImageObject\" ><div class=\"avia-image-container-inner\"><div class=\"avia-image-overlay-wrap\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class='wp-image-7217 avia-img-lazy-loading-not-7217 avia_image' src=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/Jezelf-wegcijferen.jpg\" alt='Jezelf wegcijferen' title='Putting yourself last' height=\"427\" width=\"640\"  itemprop=\"thumbnailUrl\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/Jezelf-wegcijferen.jpg 640w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/Jezelf-wegcijferen-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/Jezelf-wegcijferen-18x12.jpg 18w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/Jezelf-wegcijferen-450x300.jpg 450w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/Jezelf-wegcijferen-600x400.jpg 600w\"  sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-674nr5-52dbab99cc039f4004c20fc7d3ddbb55\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-674nr5-52dbab99cc039f4004c20fc7d3ddbb55{\nmargin-top:-25px;\nheight:1px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-674nr5-52dbab99cc039f4004c20fc7d3ddbb55 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-3  el_after_av_image  el_before_av_heading  av-desktop-hide av-medium-hide'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-laiivirw-ead45091104566eeb550131ee32571bc\">\n#top .av-special-heading.av-laiivirw-ead45091104566eeb550131ee32571bc{\npadding-bottom:10px;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-laiivirw-ead45091104566eeb550131ee32571bc .av-special-heading-tag .heading-char{\nfont-size:25px;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-laiivirw-ead45091104566eeb550131ee32571bc .av-subheading{\nfont-size:15px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='av-special-heading av-laiivirw-ead45091104566eeb550131ee32571bc av-special-heading-h1 blockquote modern-quote modern-centered  avia-builder-el-4  el_after_av_hr  el_before_av_textblock  av-linked-heading'><h1 class='av-special-heading-tag'  itemprop=\"headline\"  >Why putting yourself last is harmful to your relationships<\/h1><div class='av-subheading av-subheading_below'><p>and not just to the one with yourself<\/p>\n<\/div><div class=\"special-heading-border\"><div class=\"special-heading-inner-border\"><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-laiix918-873618c71eb5430071af7da89ccd3b47\">\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 990px){ \n#top .av_textblock_section.av-laiix918-873618c71eb5430071af7da89ccd3b47 .avia_textblock{\nfont-size:16px;\n}\n}\n<\/style>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-laiix918-873618c71eb5430071af7da89ccd3b47'   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>Every relationship is like a scale - one of those old ones, with a tray on either side. And certain experiences from the past might have made you believe that a relationship only \"works\" (and that you can only be safe and loved) when the amount of effort you put in makes your tray drop straight to the floor. The thing is, <strong>when you just keep on giving while putting yourself last, you are not in a position to receive.<\/strong> And yes, my dear human, that is very much a problem indeed.<\/em><\/p>\n<h2>Putting yourself last causes disconnection<\/h2>\n<p>In a sustainable relationship, both trays are up in the air. And no, they do not have to be at the same height, and you also don't have to give or receive in the same way as the other person. This is not about creating some kind of perfect balance in any way AT ALL.\nBut <strong>both parties should be given the opportunity to, through both giving and receiving, contribute to the relationship - <em>the relationship being a separate entity you create and nurture together.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Putting yourself last causes disconnection; you are preventing the other person from putting something in their tray. For example, when you do not communicate what you want or need, you deprive the other person of the opportunity to be there for you and, if they want to, to try to meet your needs.<\/p>\n<p>Let me give you an example from my own life, because <strong>I couldn\u2019t believe there would ever actually be anything wrong with putting myself last until this happened<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<h2>Putting yourself last shuts the other person out<\/h2>\n<p>One cozy autumn evening, many years ago, my boyfriend got angry with me and I had no idea what I had done wrong. I truly believed I did the right thing by always tuning in with everyone involved whenever I was asked for my wants, needs or opinion, assuming what they might want and\/or need, and basing my answer, what I ''wanted'', on all this information. And let me tell you, I was REALLY good at it. I was happy when everyone else was happy <em>(yes, I was still confusing feeling safe with happy, but hey, don\u2019t we all, from time to time?)<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>This was the first time my ingenious tactic didn\u2019t work ...<\/strong> After telling my boyfriend something was totally fine (I can\u2019t remember what exactly), I apparently didn\u2019t act fine enough and it became clear to him that my words weren\u2019t matching my actual feelings. <strong>And it hurt him.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>As he explained to me: How can I really get to know you and love you and be there for you (aka connect with you, have a relationship with you), if you don\u2019t share with me what you actually want or need!?<\/p>\n<p><strong>I guess he felt pretty left out and disconnected, and rightfully so.<\/strong> I WAS shutting him out, even though I totally believed that was the most loving thing I could do. It wasn\u2019t. It was hurting him, it was hurting our relationship. (And of course it was also hurting me, but that little fact felt less important at the time.)<\/p>\n<h2>A relationship is like a dance<\/h2>\n<p>If you don\u2019t vibe with the metaphor of a scale, you can also think of a relationship as a dance. If you don't take up your own space, you are just following the other person around on the dance floor - and that is not a partner dance, that is a polonaise (a kind of walking dance drunk Dutch people do that makes me want to move to another country). <strong>If you're not fully present, your partner can't sense you or hold you or help you take your next step.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Partner dancing is about tuning in, inviting, taking steps and responding. By not letting your wants and needs, likes and dislikes, be a (big enough) part of the relationship, you take a step backward, you disconnect, and consequently, the dance will come to a halt. The only way to get this dance going again is to step forward - in other words, to take up space, to communicate your needs and boundaries and\/or express your opinion (even if you feel they\u2019re weird or undue). This is how you re-establish your presence, resume the dance, and reconnect.<\/p>\n<h2>The most important thing to remember when you have a tendency to put yourself last<\/h2>\n<p><strong>People are in a relationship with you because they want to connect with you. <\/strong>And that's not possible if you become some kind of energetic or emotional extension of them, or if you\u2019re constantly fixing everything on your own - or at least trying to.<\/p>\n<p>Also, although<strong> it probably feels like you are taking something away from a loved one when you share that you want, need or dislike something, you are actually giving them a gift: your complete, authentic self. <\/strong>And that is the only thing someone who loves you will ever really want from you. \ud83d\udc9b<\/p>\n<\/div><\/section>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-5l66yp-fdd75872e8819f1f5f7b3d439ff16320\">\n#top .flex_column.av-5l66yp-fdd75872e8819f1f5f7b3d439ff16320{\nmargin-top:-25px;\nmargin-bottom:0px;\n}\n.responsive #top #wrap_all .flex_column.av-5l66yp-fdd75872e8819f1f5f7b3d439ff16320{\nmargin-top:-25px;\nmargin-bottom:0px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='flex_column av-5l66yp-fdd75872e8819f1f5f7b3d439ff16320 av_one_full  avia-builder-el-6  el_after_av_textblock  el_before_av_hr  first flex_column_div  column-top-margin'     ><p>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-lhz6dqv3-ef360aca7f021edaa9f3b21d7d9339e3\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-lhz6dqv3-ef360aca7f021edaa9f3b21d7d9339e3{\nheight:50px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-lhz6dqv3-ef360aca7f021edaa9f3b21d7d9339e3 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-7  el_before_av_textblock  avia-builder-el-first'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div><br \/>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-laiize0t-e508b59a8ec2c03d8b436f5b8ed7c098\">\n#top .av_textblock_section.av-laiize0t-e508b59a8ec2c03d8b436f5b8ed7c098 .avia_textblock{\nfont-size:16px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-laiize0t-e508b59a8ec2c03d8b436f5b8ed7c098'   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock'  itemprop=\"text\" ><hr \/>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>Tags: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.howtolife.nl\/tag\/love-relationships\">love &amp; relationships<\/a>, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.howtolife.nl\/tag\/boundaries-selfcare\">boundaries &amp; self-care<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<\/div><\/section><\/p><\/div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-iuwex-0e333569805d8f6760deed7666852e48\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-iuwex-0e333569805d8f6760deed7666852e48{\nheight:35px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-iuwex-0e333569805d8f6760deed7666852e48 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-9  el_after_av_one_full  el_before_av_hr  av-desktop-hide av-medium-hide'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-502ujl-ddc9f3711cb56d604f2f1fad06b6bcfa\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-502ujl-ddc9f3711cb56d604f2f1fad06b6bcfa{\nheight:35px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-502ujl-ddc9f3711cb56d604f2f1fad06b6bcfa hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-10  el_after_av_hr  el_before_av_one_third  av-small-hide av-mini-hide'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<div  class='flex_column av-4y2w9l-028561488617ae3de2997fa8d351b44a av_one_third  avia-builder-el-11  el_after_av_hr  el_before_av_one_third  first flex_column_div'     ><\/div><div  class='flex_column av-4qlnd5-801635552cb3e6c05aa0e06044119bdc av_one_third  avia-builder-el-12  el_after_av_one_third  el_before_av_one_third  flex_column_div'     ><p>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-4ku0tt-90866606dfea2f563b88e2ed694c95f6\">\n#top .av-special-heading.av-4ku0tt-90866606dfea2f563b88e2ed694c95f6{\npadding-bottom:10px;\ncolor:#a54a2d;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-4ku0tt-90866606dfea2f563b88e2ed694c95f6 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-char{\nfont-size:25px;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-4ku0tt-90866606dfea2f563b88e2ed694c95f6 .special-heading-inner-border{\nborder-color:#a54a2d;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-4ku0tt-90866606dfea2f563b88e2ed694c95f6 .av-subheading{\nfont-size:15px;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-4ku0tt-90866606dfea2f563b88e2ed694c95f6 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-wrap:before{\nborder-color:#a54a2d;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-4ku0tt-90866606dfea2f563b88e2ed694c95f6 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-wrap:after{\nborder-color:#a54a2d;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='av-special-heading av-4ku0tt-90866606dfea2f563b88e2ed694c95f6 av-special-heading-h2 custom-color-heading blockquote elegant-quote elegant-centered  avia-builder-el-13  el_before_av_hr  avia-builder-el-first'><h2 class='av-special-heading-tag'  itemprop=\"headline\"  ><span class=\"heading-wrap\">YOU GOT THIS<\/span><\/h2><div class=\"special-heading-border\"><div class=\"special-heading-inner-border\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><br \/>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-4e1pax-7c9b5382679d41e4943388c1de7d68e7\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-4e1pax-7c9b5382679d41e4943388c1de7d68e7{\nmargin-top:-25px;\nheight:1px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-4e1pax-7c9b5382679d41e4943388c1de7d68e7 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-14  el_after_av_heading  avia-builder-el-last  av-desktop-hide av-medium-hide'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div><\/p><\/div><div  class='flex_column av-45ubtd-dde367afbd3a638a16344b0bea22d40c av_one_third  avia-builder-el-15  el_after_av_one_third  avia-builder-el-last  flex_column_div'     ><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div><\/main><!-- close content main element --><\/div><\/div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-22whwh-fe3a65cd9d3adc30ee0556e605231321\">\n.avia-section.av-22whwh-fe3a65cd9d3adc30ee0556e605231321{\nbackground-color:#a54a2d;\nbackground:linear-gradient( to bottom right, #a54a2d, #f4f0ed );\n}\n<\/style>\n<div id='av_section_2'  class='avia-section av-22whwh-fe3a65cd9d3adc30ee0556e605231321 main_color avia-section-default avia-no-border-styling  avia-builder-el-16  el_after_av_section  el_before_av_section  avia-bg-style-scroll container_wrap fullsize'  ><div class='container av-section-cont-open' ><div class='template-page content  av-content-full alpha units'><div class='post-entry post-entry-type-page post-entry-777'><div class='entry-content-wrapper clearfix'>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-6weq9-875261242104b553daa4af4bc7690c67\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-6weq9-875261242104b553daa4af4bc7690c67{\nheight:15px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-6weq9-875261242104b553daa4af4bc7690c67 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-17  el_before_av_one_fifth  avia-builder-el-first'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<div  class='flex_column av-61l5t-63ca3f53aae7b818b002a22c45b005b1 av_one_fifth  avia-builder-el-18  el_after_av_hr  el_before_av_three_fifth  first flex_column_div'     ><\/div><div  class='flex_column av-1jinzl-73205ef9b239cec1807b80f842becedc av_three_fifth  avia-builder-el-19  el_after_av_one_fifth  el_before_av_one_fifth  flex_column_div'     ><p>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-1dueld-c05219b2c922c740690b9f57441903d0\">\n.avia-image-container.av-1dueld-c05219b2c922c740690b9f57441903d0 img.avia_image{\nbox-shadow:none;\n}\n.avia-image-container.av-1dueld-c05219b2c922c740690b9f57441903d0 .av-image-caption-overlay-center{\ncolor:#ffffff;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='avia-image-container av-1dueld-c05219b2c922c740690b9f57441903d0 av-styling- avia-align-center  avia-builder-el-20  el_before_av_heading  avia-builder-el-first'   itemprop=\"image\" itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/ImageObject\" ><div class=\"avia-image-container-inner\"><div class=\"avia-image-overlay-wrap\"><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class='wp-image-6878 avia-img-lazy-loading-not-6878 avia_image' src=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Shirley-met-lavendel.png\" alt='Shirley met lavendel' title='Shirley met lavendel' height=\"180\" width=\"180\"  itemprop=\"thumbnailUrl\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Shirley-met-lavendel.png 180w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Shirley-met-lavendel-80x80.png 80w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Shirley-met-lavendel-12x12.png 12w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Shirley-met-lavendel-36x36.png 36w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Shirley-met-lavendel-120x120.png 120w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Shirley-met-lavendel-100x100.png 100w\"  sizes=\"(max-width: 180px) 100vw, 180px\" \/><\/div><\/div><\/div><br \/>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-18akx5-7da4277620aacccc2b8a0ca914d0f570\">\n#top .av-special-heading.av-18akx5-7da4277620aacccc2b8a0ca914d0f570{\npadding-bottom:10px;\ncolor:#ffffff;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-18akx5-7da4277620aacccc2b8a0ca914d0f570 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-char{\nfont-size:25px;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-18akx5-7da4277620aacccc2b8a0ca914d0f570 .special-heading-inner-border{\nborder-color:#ffffff;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-18akx5-7da4277620aacccc2b8a0ca914d0f570 .av-subheading{\nfont-size:15px;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-18akx5-7da4277620aacccc2b8a0ca914d0f570 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-wrap:before{\nborder-color:#ffffff;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-18akx5-7da4277620aacccc2b8a0ca914d0f570 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-wrap:after{\nborder-color:#ffffff;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='av-special-heading av-18akx5-7da4277620aacccc2b8a0ca914d0f570 av-special-heading-h3 custom-color-heading blockquote classic-quote  avia-builder-el-21  el_after_av_image  el_before_av_textblock'><h3 class='av-special-heading-tag'  itemprop=\"headline\"  >Hi, it's me, Shirley!<\/h3><div class=\"special-heading-border\"><div class=\"special-heading-inner-border\"><\/div><\/div><\/div><br \/>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-13ixwp-47cdd5724314f606692669b78a3b821b\">\n#top .av_textblock_section.av-13ixwp-47cdd5724314f606692669b78a3b821b .avia_textblock{\ncolor:#ffffff;\ntext-align:center;\n}\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 990px){ \n#top .av_textblock_section.av-13ixwp-47cdd5724314f606692669b78a3b821b .avia_textblock{\nfont-size:16px;\n}\n}\n<\/style>\n<section  class='av_textblock_section av-13ixwp-47cdd5724314f606692669b78a3b821b'   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='avia_textblock av_inherit_color'  itemprop=\"text\" ><p>A few years ago I <strong>decided to stop making my life any harder than it already was<\/strong>. And since then my life has been perfect.<\/p>\n<p>Okay, that's a lie.<\/p>\n<p>But thanks to my self-compassion practice I now know how I can, time and time again, <strong>find my way back to my favorite self.<\/strong> And that's what <strong>makes my life so much more easeful &amp; joyful<\/strong> these days.<\/p>\n<p>With my blog posts I hope to do the same for you. <strong>Welcome!<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div><\/section><br \/>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-x6zw1-d309119bd007617f436b0d131348fc6d\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-x6zw1-d309119bd007617f436b0d131348fc6d{\nheight:15px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-x6zw1-d309119bd007617f436b0d131348fc6d hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-23  el_after_av_textblock  el_before_av_button'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div><br \/>\n<div  class='avia-button-wrap av-s48ex-8a597501fe682f46d4eee966adf219f2-wrap avia-button-center  avia-builder-el-24  el_after_av_hr  avia-builder-el-last'>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-s48ex-8a597501fe682f46d4eee966adf219f2\">\n#top #wrap_all .avia-button.av-s48ex-8a597501fe682f46d4eee966adf219f2{\nfont-size:15px;\ntransition:all 0.4s ease-in-out;\n}\n<\/style>\n<a href='https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/about\/'  class='avia-button av-s48ex-8a597501fe682f46d4eee966adf219f2 av-link-btn avia-icon_select-no avia-size-medium avia-position-center avia-color-theme-color'  target=\"_blank\"  rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"  aria-label=\"More about me\"><span class='avia_iconbox_title' >More about me<\/span><\/a><\/div><\/p><\/div><div  class='flex_column av-j39c9-418563f2d9d012e8de9455356031b466 av_one_fifth  avia-builder-el-25  el_after_av_three_fifth  el_before_av_hr  flex_column_div'     ><\/div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-hlwtd-27de42f24d4096fa5d328cc8a1b4699d\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-hlwtd-27de42f24d4096fa5d328cc8a1b4699d{\nheight:15px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-hlwtd-27de42f24d4096fa5d328cc8a1b4699d hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-26  el_after_av_one_fifth  el_before_av_hr  av-small-hide av-mini-hide'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-7l90p-2797a7e9366b9aacbbb395421f35e6eb\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-7l90p-2797a7e9366b9aacbbb395421f35e6eb{\nmargin-top:-10px;\nheight:1px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-7l90p-2797a7e9366b9aacbbb395421f35e6eb hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-27  el_after_av_hr  avia-builder-el-last  av-desktop-hide av-medium-hide'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><!-- close content main div --><\/div><\/div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-2xylg1-e7663eda7fe25471706f59dba7327734\">\n.avia-section.av-2xylg1-e7663eda7fe25471706f59dba7327734{\nmargin-top:0px;\nmargin-bottom:0px;\n}\n\n@media only screen and (max-width: 479px){ \n.avia-section.av-2xylg1-e7663eda7fe25471706f59dba7327734{\nmargin-top:10px;\n}\n}\n<\/style>\n<div id='av_section_3'  class='avia-section av-2xylg1-e7663eda7fe25471706f59dba7327734 main_color avia-section-default avia-no-border-styling  avia-builder-el-28  el_after_av_section  el_before_av_section  av-desktop-hide av-medium-hide av-small-hide av-mini-hide avia-bg-style-scroll container_wrap fullsize'  ><div class='container av-section-cont-open' ><div class='template-page content  av-content-full alpha units'><div class='post-entry post-entry-type-page post-entry-777'><div class='entry-content-wrapper clearfix'>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-2qbrxd-58c75bdd4e254964e02b9cac68324a5f\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-2qbrxd-58c75bdd4e254964e02b9cac68324a5f{\nmargin-top:-35px;\nheight:1px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-2qbrxd-58c75bdd4e254964e02b9cac68324a5f hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-29  el_before_av_hr  avia-builder-el-first  av-desktop-hide av-medium-hide'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-2l2d95-891e3bd7e47743e11f5157cc5802b695\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-2l2d95-891e3bd7e47743e11f5157cc5802b695{\nmargin-top:-25px;\nheight:1px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-2l2d95-891e3bd7e47743e11f5157cc5802b695 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-30  el_after_av_hr  el_before_av_hr  av-desktop-hide av-small-hide av-mini-hide'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-2ch6up-d383be29ef34e5e5fd156d7283a0d539\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-2ch6up-d383be29ef34e5e5fd156d7283a0d539{\nmargin-top:-25px;\nheight:1px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-2ch6up-d383be29ef34e5e5fd156d7283a0d539 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-31  el_after_av_hr  el_before_av_one_third  av-medium-hide av-small-hide av-mini-hide'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<div class='flex_column_table av-2b65y9-fd4aa8c5467903230557829a9f385476 sc-av_one_third av-equal-height-column-flextable'>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-2b65y9-fd4aa8c5467903230557829a9f385476\">\n@keyframes av_boxShadowEffect_av-2b65y9-fd4aa8c5467903230557829a9f385476-row {\n0%   { box-shadow:  0 0 0 0 ; opacity: 1; }\n100% { box-shadow:  0 0 10px 0 ; opacity: 1; }\n}\n@keyframes av_boxShadowEffect_av-2b65y9-fd4aa8c5467903230557829a9f385476-column {\n0%   { box-shadow:  0 0 0 0 ; opacity: 1; }\n100% { box-shadow:  0 0 10px 0 ; opacity: 1; }\n}\n.flex_column.av-2b65y9-fd4aa8c5467903230557829a9f385476{\nbackground:url(https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Tarot-for-self-compassion-teachings.jpg) 50% 50% no-repeat scroll ;\n}\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 990px){ \n.flex_column.av-2b65y9-fd4aa8c5467903230557829a9f385476{\nposition:relative;\nleft:35px;\n}\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='flex_column av-2b65y9-fd4aa8c5467903230557829a9f385476 av_one_third  avia-builder-el-32  el_after_av_hr  el_before_av_one_third  first flex_column_table_cell av-equal-height-column av-align-top av-custom-positioned avia-full-contain'     ><div  class='avia-button-wrap av-243q89-8c06c082a3dde57f752515ec970ae134-wrap avia-button-center  avia-builder-el-33  avia-builder-el-no-sibling'>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-243q89-8c06c082a3dde57f752515ec970ae134\">\n#top #wrap_all .avia-button.av-243q89-8c06c082a3dde57f752515ec970ae134{\nfont-size:18px;\ntransition:all 0.4s ease-in-out;\n}\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 990px){ \n#top #wrap_all .avia-button.av-243q89-8c06c082a3dde57f752515ec970ae134{\nmargin:175px 0 175px 0;\n}\n}\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 768px) and (max-width: 989px){ \n#top #wrap_all .avia-button.av-243q89-8c06c082a3dde57f752515ec970ae134{\nmargin:135px 0 135px 0;\n}\n}\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 480px) and (max-width: 767px){ \n#top #wrap_all .avia-button.av-243q89-8c06c082a3dde57f752515ec970ae134{\nmargin:135px 0 150px 0;\n}\n}\n\n@media only screen and (max-width: 479px){ \n#top #wrap_all .avia-button.av-243q89-8c06c082a3dde57f752515ec970ae134{\nmargin:125px 0 125px 0;\n}\n}\n<\/style>\n<a href='https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/?page_id=5243'  class='avia-button av-243q89-8c06c082a3dde57f752515ec970ae134 av-link-btn avia-icon_select-no avia-size-large avia-position-center avia-color-light'  target=\"_blank\"  rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"  aria-label=\"TOOLKITS\"><span class='avia_iconbox_title' >TOOLKITS<\/span><\/a><\/div><\/div><div class='av-flex-placeholder'><\/div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-1udvbl-ed784df31522eb79e9022f0c26e50741\">\n@keyframes av_boxShadowEffect_av-1udvbl-ed784df31522eb79e9022f0c26e50741-row {\n0%   { box-shadow:  0 0 0 0 ; opacity: 1; }\n100% { box-shadow:  0 0 10px 0 ; opacity: 1; }\n}\n@keyframes av_boxShadowEffect_av-1udvbl-ed784df31522eb79e9022f0c26e50741-column {\n0%   { box-shadow:  0 0 0 0 ; opacity: 1; }\n100% { box-shadow:  0 0 10px 0 ; opacity: 1; }\n}\n.flex_column.av-1udvbl-ed784df31522eb79e9022f0c26e50741{\nbackground:url(https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/Tarot-for-self-compassion-meditations.jpg) 50% 50% no-repeat scroll ;\n}\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 990px){ \n.flex_column.av-1udvbl-ed784df31522eb79e9022f0c26e50741{\nposition:relative;\nleft:-35px;\n}\n}\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 480px) and (max-width: 767px){ \n.flex_column.av-1udvbl-ed784df31522eb79e9022f0c26e50741{\nposition:relative;\ntop:25px;\n}\n}\n\n@media only screen and (max-width: 479px){ \n.flex_column.av-1udvbl-ed784df31522eb79e9022f0c26e50741{\nposition:relative;\ntop:25px;\n}\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='flex_column av-1udvbl-ed784df31522eb79e9022f0c26e50741 av_one_third  avia-builder-el-34  el_after_av_one_third  el_before_av_hr  flex_column_table_cell av-equal-height-column av-align-top av-custom-positioned avia-full-contain'     ><div  class='avia-button-wrap av-1pwbqh-48325d9a86227c2b8ab36c6ebde72e8d-wrap avia-button-center  avia-builder-el-35  avia-builder-el-no-sibling'>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-1pwbqh-48325d9a86227c2b8ab36c6ebde72e8d\">\n#top #wrap_all .avia-button.av-1pwbqh-48325d9a86227c2b8ab36c6ebde72e8d{\nfont-size:18px;\ntransition:all 0.4s ease-in-out;\n}\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 990px){ \n#top #wrap_all .avia-button.av-1pwbqh-48325d9a86227c2b8ab36c6ebde72e8d{\nmargin:175px 0 175px 0;\n}\n}\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 768px) and (max-width: 989px){ \n#top #wrap_all .avia-button.av-1pwbqh-48325d9a86227c2b8ab36c6ebde72e8d{\nmargin:135px 0 135px 0;\n}\n}\n\n@media only screen and (min-width: 480px) and (max-width: 767px){ \n#top #wrap_all .avia-button.av-1pwbqh-48325d9a86227c2b8ab36c6ebde72e8d{\nmargin:135px 0 150px 0;\n}\n}\n\n@media only screen and (max-width: 479px){ \n#top #wrap_all .avia-button.av-1pwbqh-48325d9a86227c2b8ab36c6ebde72e8d{\nmargin:125px 0 125px 0;\n}\n}\n<\/style>\n<a href='https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/?page_id=8755'  class='avia-button av-1pwbqh-48325d9a86227c2b8ab36c6ebde72e8d av-link-btn avia-icon_select-no avia-size-large avia-position-center avia-color-light'  target=\"_blank\"  rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"  aria-label=\"FREE RESOURCES\"><span class='avia_iconbox_title' >FREE RESOURCES<\/span><\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div><!--close column table wrapper. Autoclose: 1 -->\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-1iq0cp-b84ebb42cc2b271382e5591450c1122d\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-1iq0cp-b84ebb42cc2b271382e5591450c1122d{\nheight:100px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-1iq0cp-b84ebb42cc2b271382e5591450c1122d hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-36  el_after_av_one_third  el_before_av_hr  av-medium-hide av-small-hide av-mini-hide'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-1geydt-d84f26ed67501853a9896de7d1e2aa48\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-1geydt-d84f26ed67501853a9896de7d1e2aa48{\nheight:25px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-1geydt-d84f26ed67501853a9896de7d1e2aa48 hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-37  el_after_av_hr  el_before_av_hr  av-desktop-hide av-medium-hide'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-1a5e0h-e6dbba76e331bebb33603dac0b78359a\">\n#top .hr.hr-invisible.av-1a5e0h-e6dbba76e331bebb33603dac0b78359a{\nheight:25px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='hr av-1a5e0h-e6dbba76e331bebb33603dac0b78359a hr-invisible  avia-builder-el-38  el_after_av_hr  avia-builder-el-last  av-desktop-hide av-small-hide av-mini-hide'><span class='hr-inner'><span class=\"hr-inner-style\"><\/span><\/span><\/div>\n\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><!-- close content main div --><\/div><\/div>\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-s14j5-df1f4720b96d3c6f3878a83536c5e3b1\">\n.avia-section.av-s14j5-df1f4720b96d3c6f3878a83536c5e3b1{\nmargin-top:25px;\nmargin-bottom:0px;\n}\n\n@media only screen and (max-width: 479px){ \n.avia-section.av-s14j5-df1f4720b96d3c6f3878a83536c5e3b1{\nmargin-top:10px;\n}\n}\n<\/style>\n<div id='av_section_4'  class='avia-section av-s14j5-df1f4720b96d3c6f3878a83536c5e3b1 main_color avia-section-default avia-no-border-styling  avia-builder-el-39  el_after_av_section  avia-builder-el-last  avia-bg-style-scroll container_wrap fullsize'  ><div class='container av-section-cont-open' ><div class='template-page content  av-content-full alpha units'><div class='post-entry post-entry-type-page post-entry-777'><div class='entry-content-wrapper clearfix'>\n\n<style type=\"text\/css\" data-created_by=\"avia_inline_auto\" id=\"style-css-av-kudpt-41910e16da35bc8708dd32d84c99a448\">\n#top .av-special-heading.av-kudpt-41910e16da35bc8708dd32d84c99a448{\npadding-bottom:10px;\n}\nbody .av-special-heading.av-kudpt-41910e16da35bc8708dd32d84c99a448 .av-special-heading-tag .heading-char{\nfont-size:25px;\n}\n.av-special-heading.av-kudpt-41910e16da35bc8708dd32d84c99a448 .av-subheading{\nfont-size:15px;\n}\n<\/style>\n<div  class='av-special-heading av-kudpt-41910e16da35bc8708dd32d84c99a448 av-special-heading-h2  avia-builder-el-40  el_before_av_masonry_entries  avia-builder-el-no-sibling'><h2 class='av-special-heading-tag'  itemprop=\"headline\"  >Articles you might also enjoy<\/h2><div class=\"special-heading-border\"><div class=\"special-heading-inner-border\"><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n<div id='av-masonry-1' class='av-masonry av-mmow65e6-08554f05ccfdc4ecc028e80435336382 noHover av-flex-size av-large-gap av-hover-overlay-active av-masonry-animation-active av-masonry-col-flexible av-caption-always av-caption-style- av-masonry-entries' data-post_id=\"777\"><div class=\"av-masonry-container isotope av-js-disabled\"><div class='av-masonry-entry isotope-item av-masonry-item-no-image'><\/div><a href=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/wat-is-onvoorwaardelijke-liefde\/\"  id='av-masonry-1-item-4367' data-av-masonry-item='4367' class='av-masonry-entry isotope-item post-4367 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-how-to tag-love-relationships  av-masonry-item-with-image' title=\"What is unconditional love\"   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='av-inner-masonry-sizer'><\/div><figure class='av-inner-masonry main_color'><div class=\"av-masonry-outerimage-container\"><div class='av-masonry-image-container'  ><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"480\" class=\"wp-image-7233 avia-img-lazy-loading-not-7233\" src=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Wat-is-onvoorwaardelijke-liefde.jpg\" title=\"What is unconditional love\"  alt=\"Wat is onvoorwaardelijke liefde\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Wat-is-onvoorwaardelijke-liefde.jpg 640w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Wat-is-onvoorwaardelijke-liefde-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Wat-is-onvoorwaardelijke-liefde-16x12.jpg 16w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Wat-is-onvoorwaardelijke-liefde-450x338.jpg 450w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Wat-is-onvoorwaardelijke-liefde-600x450.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/div><\/div><figcaption class='av-inner-masonry-content site-background'><div class='av-inner-masonry-content-pos'><div class='av-inner-masonry-content-pos-content'><div class='avia-arrow'><\/div><h3 class='av-masonry-entry-title entry-title'  itemprop=\"headline\" >What is unconditional love? And more importantly: What isn't?<\/h3><span class='av-masonry-date meta-color updated'><\/span><span class=\"av-masonry-text-sep text-sep-author\">\/<\/span><span class='av-masonry-author meta-color author'><span class='fn'>by Shirley<\/span><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/a><!--end av-masonry entry--><a href=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/relatie-verbreken-doet-pijn\/\"  id='av-masonry-1-item-1437' data-av-masonry-item='1437' class='av-masonry-entry isotope-item post-1437 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-how-to tag-love-relationships  av-masonry-item-with-image' title=\"Ending a relationship hurts\"   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='av-inner-masonry-sizer'><\/div><figure class='av-inner-masonry main_color'><div class=\"av-masonry-outerimage-container\"><div class='av-masonry-image-container'  ><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" class=\"wp-image-7143 avia-img-lazy-loading-not-7143\" src=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Relatie-verbreken-doet-pijn.jpg\" title=\"Ending a relationship hurts\"  alt=\"Relatie verbreken doet pijn\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Relatie-verbreken-doet-pijn.jpg 640w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Relatie-verbreken-doet-pijn-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Relatie-verbreken-doet-pijn-18x12.jpg 18w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Relatie-verbreken-doet-pijn-450x300.jpg 450w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/Relatie-verbreken-doet-pijn-600x400.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/div><\/div><figcaption class='av-inner-masonry-content site-background'><div class='av-inner-masonry-content-pos'><div class='av-inner-masonry-content-pos-content'><div class='avia-arrow'><\/div><h3 class='av-masonry-entry-title entry-title'  itemprop=\"headline\" >Ending a relationship hurts \u2013 here's why<\/h3><span class='av-masonry-date meta-color updated'><\/span><span class=\"av-masonry-text-sep text-sep-author\">\/<\/span><span class='av-masonry-author meta-color author'><span class='fn'>by Shirley<\/span><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/a><!--end av-masonry entry--><a href=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/nergens-echt-goed-in\/\"  id='av-masonry-1-item-1024' data-av-masonry-item='1024' class='av-masonry-entry isotope-item post-1024 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-how-to tag-growth-healing tag-mindset-identity  av-masonry-item-with-image' title=\"Not really good at anything\"   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='av-inner-masonry-sizer'><\/div><figure class='av-inner-masonry main_color'><div class=\"av-masonry-outerimage-container\"><div class='av-masonry-image-container'  ><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" class=\"wp-image-7205 avia-img-lazy-loading-not-7205\" src=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Nergens-echt-goed-in.jpg\" title=\"Not really good at anything\"  alt=\"Nergens echt goed in\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Nergens-echt-goed-in.jpg 640w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Nergens-echt-goed-in-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Nergens-echt-goed-in-18x12.jpg 18w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Nergens-echt-goed-in-450x300.jpg 450w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/10\/Nergens-echt-goed-in-600x400.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/div><\/div><figcaption class='av-inner-masonry-content site-background'><div class='av-inner-masonry-content-pos'><div class='av-inner-masonry-content-pos-content'><div class='avia-arrow'><\/div><h3 class='av-masonry-entry-title entry-title'  itemprop=\"headline\" >Not really good at anything? This is for you!<\/h3><span class='av-masonry-date meta-color updated'><\/span><span class=\"av-masonry-text-sep text-sep-author\">\/<\/span><span class='av-masonry-author meta-color author'><span class='fn'>by Shirley<\/span><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/a><!--end av-masonry entry--><a href=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/eerst-van-jezelf-houden\/\"  id='av-masonry-1-item-767' data-av-masonry-item='767' class='av-masonry-entry isotope-item post-767 post type-post status-publish format-standard has-post-thumbnail hentry category-how-to tag-love-relationships  av-masonry-item-with-image' title=\"Love yourself first\"   itemscope=\"itemscope\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/BlogPosting\" itemprop=\"blogPost\" ><div class='av-inner-masonry-sizer'><\/div><figure class='av-inner-masonry main_color'><div class=\"av-masonry-outerimage-container\"><div class='av-masonry-image-container'  ><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" class=\"wp-image-7227 avia-img-lazy-loading-not-7227\" src=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Eerst-van-jezelf-houden.jpg\" title=\"Love yourself first\"  alt=\"Eerst van jezelf houden\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Eerst-van-jezelf-houden.jpg 640w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Eerst-van-jezelf-houden-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Eerst-van-jezelf-houden-18x12.jpg 18w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Eerst-van-jezelf-houden-450x300.jpg 450w, https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/05\/Eerst-van-jezelf-houden-600x400.jpg 600w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/div><\/div><figcaption class='av-inner-masonry-content site-background'><div class='av-inner-masonry-content-pos'><div class='av-inner-masonry-content-pos-content'><div class='avia-arrow'><\/div><h3 class='av-masonry-entry-title entry-title'  itemprop=\"headline\" >No, you DON'T have to love yourself first.<\/h3><span class='av-masonry-date meta-color updated'><\/span><span class=\"av-masonry-text-sep text-sep-author\">\/<\/span><span class='av-masonry-author meta-color author'><span class='fn'>by Shirley<\/span><\/span><\/div><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/a><!--end av-masonry entry--><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Putting yourself last causes disconnection. Here's why this is harmful to your relationships and what you can do about it.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7217,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[254],"tags":[257,258],"class_list":["post-777","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-how-to","tag-boundaries-selfcare","tag-love-relationships"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.1.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Waarom jezelf wegcijferen schadelijk is voor je relatie - moreselfcompassion.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Jezelf wegcijferen betekent uit verbinding gaan. Wat er dan in je relatie gebeurt, en hoe je ermee kunt stoppen, lees je hier.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Waarom jezelf wegcijferen schadelijk is voor je relatie - moreselfcompassion.com\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Jezelf wegcijferen betekent uit verbinding gaan. Wat er dan in je relatie gebeurt, en hoe je ermee kunt stoppen, lees je hier.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"moreselfcompassion.com\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2023-05-21T09:50:50+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-03-13T12:58:26+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/Jezelf-wegcijferen.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"640\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"427\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Shirley\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Shirley\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Shirley\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/#\/schema\/person\/f7ae6d12960f5bcd64da107adca2082e\"},\"headline\":\"Waarom jezelf wegcijferen schadelijk is voor je relatie\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-05-21T09:50:50+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-03-13T12:58:26+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/\"},\"wordCount\":7182,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/Jezelf-wegcijferen.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"Boundaries &amp; Self-care\",\"Love &amp; Relationships\"],\"articleSection\":[\"How to\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/\",\"name\":\"Waarom jezelf wegcijferen schadelijk is voor je relatie - moreselfcompassion.com\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/Jezelf-wegcijferen.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2023-05-21T09:50:50+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-03-13T12:58:26+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/#\/schema\/person\/f7ae6d12960f5bcd64da107adca2082e\"},\"description\":\"Jezelf wegcijferen betekent uit verbinding gaan. Wat er dan in je relatie gebeurt, en hoe je ermee kunt stoppen, lees je hier.\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/Jezelf-wegcijferen.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/Jezelf-wegcijferen.jpg\",\"width\":640,\"height\":427,\"caption\":\"Jezelf wegcijferen\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/home\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Waarom jezelf wegcijferen schadelijk is voor je relatie\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/\",\"name\":\"moreselfcompassion.com\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/#\/schema\/person\/f7ae6d12960f5bcd64da107adca2082e\",\"name\":\"Shirley\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/290d3810f3dd4221bf94e865d83b21914d4e8119e98a7a58e1d20860bed38fad?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/290d3810f3dd4221bf94e865d83b21914d4e8119e98a7a58e1d20860bed38fad?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Shirley\"}}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Why putting yourself last is harmful to your relationships - moreselfcompassion.com","description":"Putting yourself last causes disconnection. Here's why this is harmful to your relationships and what you can do about it.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Waarom jezelf wegcijferen schadelijk is voor je relatie - moreselfcompassion.com","og_description":"Jezelf wegcijferen betekent uit verbinding gaan. Wat er dan in je relatie gebeurt, en hoe je ermee kunt stoppen, lees je hier.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/","og_site_name":"moreselfcompassion.com","article_published_time":"2023-05-21T09:50:50+00:00","article_modified_time":"2026-03-13T12:58:26+00:00","og_image":[{"width":640,"height":427,"url":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/Jezelf-wegcijferen.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Shirley","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Shirley","Est. reading time":"6 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/"},"author":{"name":"Shirley","@id":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/#\/schema\/person\/f7ae6d12960f5bcd64da107adca2082e"},"headline":"Waarom jezelf wegcijferen schadelijk is voor je relatie","datePublished":"2023-05-21T09:50:50+00:00","dateModified":"2026-03-13T12:58:26+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/"},"wordCount":7182,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/Jezelf-wegcijferen.jpg","keywords":["Boundaries &amp; Self-care","Love &amp; Relationships"],"articleSection":["How to"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/","url":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/","name":"Why putting yourself last is harmful to your relationships - moreselfcompassion.com","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/Jezelf-wegcijferen.jpg","datePublished":"2023-05-21T09:50:50+00:00","dateModified":"2026-03-13T12:58:26+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/#\/schema\/person\/f7ae6d12960f5bcd64da107adca2082e"},"description":"Putting yourself last causes disconnection. Here's why this is harmful to your relationships and what you can do about it.","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/Jezelf-wegcijferen.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/Jezelf-wegcijferen.jpg","width":640,"height":427,"caption":"Jezelf wegcijferen"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/jezelf-wegcijferen\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/home\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Waarom jezelf wegcijferen schadelijk is voor je relatie"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/","name":"moreselfcompassion.com","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/#\/schema\/person\/f7ae6d12960f5bcd64da107adca2082e","name":"Shirley","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/290d3810f3dd4221bf94e865d83b21914d4e8119e98a7a58e1d20860bed38fad?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/290d3810f3dd4221bf94e865d83b21914d4e8119e98a7a58e1d20860bed38fad?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Shirley"}}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/777","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=777"}],"version-history":[{"count":43,"href":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/777\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10987,"href":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/777\/revisions\/10987"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7217"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=777"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=777"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.moreselfcompassion.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=777"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}